OMGG

Tim Tebow has been underperforming all year, and his biggest fan has finally seen enough.

Just two months into the NFL season, The Lord dropped the pious backup quarterback from his fantasy football roster.

“I tried to justify keeping him, but it didn’t make sense,” explained the Holy Spirit. “Tom Brady is my starter and the Patriots have the same bye week as the Jets.”

God said drafting Tebow in the third round was his second-worst fantasy mistake since signing up for an ESPN account 10 years ago.

“In 2007, I started Sage Rosenfels for half the year,” The Almighty told OMGG.com. “He was actually putting up decent numbers, but I had to get rid of him because I found out he was Jewish!”

Pablo Sandoval hit three home runs in his first three at-bats to lead the San Francisco Giants to an 8-3 win on Wednesday in Game 1 of the World Series.

Team doctor Andrew Brackett said the husky ballplayer was so exhausted he needed to be put on a respirator after the game.

“Pablo’s never been a big fan of exercising,” Brackett told OMGG.com. “Running around the bases three times really took it out of him.”

Moments ago, Sandoval informed the team he’s too tired to start Game 2 tonight, but will consider coming in as a pinch hitter.

“If they decide to use me, I sure as hell won’t be swinging for the fences,” the pudgy third baseman said. “At this point, my body’s one home run away from the 15-day disabled list.”

On Monday morning, bloated real estate mogul Donald Trump told Fox & Friends that he’d be making a big announcement about President Obama today.

OMGG.com hackers broke into the 66-year old’s email account moments ago, and discovered what the Queen of Mean King of Douchebaggery had up his monogrammed sleeve.

Trump, who doesn’t believe Obama was a good student, will be offering $5 million to the president in exchange for copies of his university transcripts.

Shockingly, he isn’t requesting anything from Mitt Romney.

“Mitt doesn’t need the money like Barack,” the billionaire told OMGG.com. “Besides, it’s pretty safe to say he’s well-educated by looking at how white he is.”