St. Louis Cardinals: What We’ve Got Here is Failure to Communicate

According to manager Tony La Russa, a phone mix-up was to blame for the St. Louis Cardinals’ Game 5 loss in the World Series.

“I called over to the bullpen in the eighth inning and asked for superstar closer Jason Motte to get ready,” explained La Russa. “But (bullpen coach Michael) Rockliff apparently heard ‘when you have a minute, please warm up our sh*ttiest pitcher’.”

Tomorrow night, La Russa will be using two tin cans and a roll of twine to assure technology plays no part in the Game 6 outcome.

“It’s a fool-proof plan,” promised the third winningest manager in baseball history. “I’d prefer to use my iPhone, but it doesn’t get reception in the stadium.”