Albert Pujols Signs Baseball’s First Billion Dollar Contract

Fans couldn’t believe it when superstar free agent Albert Pujols scoffed at the Miami Marlins’ $220 million contract offer.

Looks like The Machine knew what he was doing all along.

“My agent told me if I wanted to make the big bucks, I’d have to go to the Yankees,” explained the three-time MVP, who will suit up in pinstripes over the next 10 years for a reported $1.1 billion. “We didn’t even have to negotiate, that was their opening offer.”

OMGG.com has learned that to help make Pujols’ transition to the American League easier, New York Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman has also agreed to sign the rest of the St. Louis Cardinals team to a two-year deal.