Poll: Most Americans Just Want an “I Voted” Sticker

An OMGG.com poll revealed that more than 61% of Americans are showing up to vote today just for the free sticker.

“It doesn’t matter who gets elected, all politicians are corrupt,” explained first-time voter Maurice Kendall. “But chicks seem to be impressed by that sticker, so I cast a ballot this morning for one of those idiots…I think the white one.”

Poll worker Annie Vick said there is a strict “one per person” policy on the labels, because as soon as they run out people lose the incentive to show up.

“Last week, I bought one of those suckers on eBay for like four bucks,” said Jerry Punlit, a 36-year old mechanic. “It was such a relief, saved me the hassle of having to wait in those long lines today.”