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January 5, 2012

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The Price is Right for Snoop Dogg

The Price is Right for Snoop Dogg

On Monday, Snoop Dogg launched ‘Celebrity Week’ on Price is Right.

The rapper shocked the audience when he did incredibly well on the pricing game “Bullseye.”

“He was shown five different snack foods and asked to purchase a quantity of each item so the total price was between $10 and $12,” explained host Drew Carey. “I’ve never seen anyone go 5-for-5 before.”

After winning thousands of dollars for his charity, the Doggfather told OMGG.com the secret to his success.

“It ain’t hard to guess the price of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls, chips and candy bars,” said Snoop. “That;s the same sh#t I buy when I get the munchies.”

January 5, 2012

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Beck Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Beck Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Reports show that delusional former-Fox News personality Glenn Beck is one of the ten highest-paid public speakers, currently pulling in over $100,000 per engagement.

“Glenn is worth every penny…he’s stupendicious,” stated Sarah Palin, who took time out of her busy schedule to make up yet another word.

Beck, who has been known to masturbate every time the Terror Alert Level reaches orange, feels he deserves even more.

“Tony Blair, Bill Clinton and Lance Armstrong each make more than me per speech,” explained Beck. “And what exactly have any of those guys accomplished?”

January 4, 2012

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Rick Santorum Loses Iowa Caucus After His Family Accidentally Votes for Romney

Rick Santorum Loses Iowa Caucus After His Family Accidentally Votes for Romney

Rick Santorum can’t catch a break.

The GOP candidate, who lost the 2012 Iowa Caucus by just eight votes last night, learned this morning that his wife and four other members of his family had voted for front-runner Mitt Romney.

The Des Moines results are often an indicator of who’ll succeed in the New Hampshire caucuses, and ultimately, who’ll secure the Republican nomination.

“Obviously, I’d love to see my brother in the White House,” David Santorum told OMGG.com. “But I have to admit, an itsy bitsy part of me believes I subconsciously voted for Romney because Rick is such a vile piece of sh#t.”

January 4, 2012

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BREAKING NEWS: Tim Tebow is Jewish

BREAKING NEWS: Tim Tebow is Jewish

Thinking he’d be more marketable as a wholesome, Christian athlete, Tim Tebow’s parents decided to hide their son’s dark secret. He’s Jewish.

Tebow, real name Tim Tebowitz, came clean today at the Denver Broncos’ training facility, where the 24-year old was busy preparing for his first playoff game.

“The torah teaches us to ‘guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully’,” the quarterback told OMGG.com. “I learned that at my Bar Mitzvah.”

If the Broncos defy the odds and somehow make the Super Bowl, Tebow will have a tough decision to make.

“February 5th is Tu B’Shevat, a Jewish holiday that marks the beginning of a ‘New Year for Trees’,” Rabbi Goldstein, Tebow’s mentor, explained. “It is recommended that men take that day off from work.”

January 4, 2012

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EXCLUSIVE: JLo Drops Casper Smart Off at School

EXCLUSIVE: J-Lo Drops Casper Smart Off at School

Jennifer Lopez’s new man, Casper Smart, is living up to his last name.

The 24-year old high school dropout has decided to go back to class!

Unfortunately, the beautiful boy toy had his driver’s license suspended recently, so his sugarmama was forced to drop him off at Bronx Haven High School yesterday.

“People think I’m too big of a star to look after my man,” Lopez told onlookers from the window of her 2012 Bentley coupe. “But I’m still Jenny from the block.”