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According to a CNN report, a significant number of American voters were still undecided as of yesterday.

Early polls indicate that those idiots have bonded together to elect one of their own.

“The tea party, birthers, religious nuts and dimwits were fed up with having educated leaders in the Oval Office,” explained Nancy Fornster, a representative from the Pew Research Center. “So far, thirty-six percent of the country have written-in Sarah Palin’s name on their ballots.”

The former Alaska governor is on pace for 271 electoral votes, enough to secure her the presidency.

“Gee gosh, this hockey mom is so excited to go rogue on the constitution,” the 48-year old told OMGG.com. “According to my handlers, not campaigning this year helped put me over the top!”

With the election just one day away, Joe Biden hit the road attempting to garner support for President Barack Obama.

Sadly, OMGG.com has learned the confused 69-year old spent the 11th hour campaigning across Eastern Canada.

We caught up with Barack Obama’s assistant, Marcus Wayans, who said the vice president’s impassioned speech to a baffled crowd in Toronto was actually a strategic move.

“The president was afraid another gaffe by Joe would hurt his re-election chances, so he sent him out of the country,” Wayans told us. “It was surprisingly easy to convince Mr. Biden that Ontario was a swing state.”

Chris Christie is coming under fire for the way he’s choosing to allocate federal funds in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.

Despite millions in his state without power or gas, the New Jersey governor has made the rebuilding of area bakeries and pizza shops his top priority.

Christie encouraged Garden State residents to remain vigilant, assuring them he knows they’re struggling.

“The cleanup effort will take much longer if I’m hungry,” explained the 50-year old Republican . “Once the Federal Emergency Management Agency can get these eateries up and running, I’ll be turning my full attention to individuals in need.”

Last week, Ann Coulter came under fire for calling President Obama the r-word.

“What the f-word?” said the Fox News commentator. “People are acting like I called him the n-word!”

L-word entertainer Ellen DeGeneres suggested Coulter stop being such a c-word and apologize.

“I think the r-words owe me an apology,” the conservative columnist retorted. “They’re the ones acting like a bunch of b-words!”

On Wednesday, Donald Trump offered to donate $5 million to a charity of President Obama’s choice if he released his college and passport records by the end of the month.

This morning, the president responded via his twitter feed.

“I’ll pay that bloated piece of sh*t five bucks if he takes that weave off his head,” wrote the leader of the free world.

So far no word back from Mr. Trump, but stay tuned — OMGG.com will be covering this story closely.