OMGG

OMGG would like to apologize for yesterday’s post in the Obituary section, where we wrongfully reported the passing of actor Ricky Schroder. Our editors have learned that it was the former Silver Spoons star’s career that died, not the actor himself.

“He’d been landing roles based on name recognition, but that stops now,” announced Ken Howard, President of the Screen Actors Guild. “With the cancelation of No Ordinary Family, I can assure you that Mr. Schroder will officially never work again in this town again.”

Schroder, who was ranked #18 in VH1’s list of the 100 Greatest Kid Stars, said he feels like he may still has one more show left in him.

“Bullsh#t,” said Joshua Cox, whose long-running Lifetime series Strong Medicine, was axed just weeks after Schroder came aboard. “Ricky’s portrayal of Dr. Dylan West set dramatic actors back 20 years.”

Last night, McDonald’s executives revealed that just days after achieving their initiative to hire 50,000 new employees, the company will be handing out pink slips to twice that number this week.

Robert Zazzali, who was hired July 28th, was disappointed to learn tomorrow will be his last day working the fry station. “My girlfriend was finally getting off my case about being unemployed,” said the recent Georgetown grad.

“I don’t understand why people are so surprised by the layoffs,” said Ben Puddle, the fast food chain’s McCEO. “The economy is in terrible shape.”

While many call the cuts unfair, the Golden Arches is receiving high praise from a surprising source — the White House.

“I’d like to express my gratitude to McDonald’s for stimulating the economy for almost a week,” said an exuberant President Barack Obama. “I hope Americans remember the boost in jobs I temporarily created when they enter the voting booth next November.”

While strolling through New York’s Times Square last weekend, Kristen Stewart popped into the Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum with friends. Witnesses tell OMGG the Twilight actress was stopped dead in her tracks when she happened upon a wax statue of her boyfriend, Robert Pattinson.

“She ran over and started yelling at it,” said Bailey Thompson, who went with her son to the museum that afternoon. “She wanted to know why it hadn’t told her it was in New York.”

It’s not the first time the British sex symbol has been mistaken for an inanimate object.

Water for Elephants co-star Reese Witherspoon likened acting with Pattinson to “working alongside a tree.”

The R-Pattz statue, with its cocky smirk and unkempt hair, has already been nominated for seven 2012 MTV Movie Awards.

Crystal Harris recently told Howard Stern that her ex-fiancée Hugh Hefner only lasts two seconds in bed.

“She just said that because she doesn’t want me to move on,“ insists the senile 84-year-old.  “When we were together, she’d always do the cutest things, like call me ‘sugar tush’ and repeatedly ask for the combination to my floor safe.”

Hef allegedly wants Crystal back, but his friends are begging him to cut ties with the 25-year old former-Playmate.

Harris, whose Centerfold Bio listed Anna Nicole Smith and the Menendez Brothers amongst her heroes, says maybe she will give the Playboy founder another shot.

“After all, marriage is really only ‘til death do you part, right?” asked a winking Harris.

OMGG.com just came across this adorable, pre-Parent Trap pic of ‘Lil Lindsay’…