OMGG

GOP Rep. Todd Akin’s claim that victims of “legitimate rape” rarely get pregnant has many calling for him to end his bid for Senate.

“What people don’t realize is that I’ve done a lot of research on the subject,” the candidate from Missouri told OMGG.com. “I’ve forcibly made love to several men in the past, and I’m proud to say that not a single one has given birth.”

The Republican party has turned their back on Akin, including Paul Ryan, who co-sponsored a bill with the 65-year old to redefine rape just last year.

“Look, I’m not distancing myself from Todd Akin because of his recent comments,” Ryan told us. “I’ve just turned my attention to Mitt (Romney), someone I personally find a little more vibrant and attractive.”

Former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst was booted from his seat at WWE’s SummerSlam last night, allegedly for flashing his middle finger towards the camera.

“Those reports are completely false,” insisted WWE President and CEO, Vince McMahon. “We had Fred removed because we didn’t want anyone to accidentally associate that loser with our organization.”

The “musician,” and we use that term loosely, told OMGG.com he was saddened to hear the crowd cheer as he was ushered out by security guards.

“I’d be the ideal ambassador for the WWE because I have a lot in common with their sport,” said Durst. “We’re both loud, fake and adored by middle-aged white men with questionable taste.”

Augusta National announced today that they’ll be allowing women to join, allegedly upsetting every member of the prestigious golf club with the exception of Tiger Woods.

“After they let a black guy in, I didn’t think things couldn’t get any worse,” 81-year old Rufus Waspington III told OMGG.com. “But golfing alongside vile, vagina-having females? I’m speechless.”

Allowing women to join the 80-year old Georgia club means Augusta will be undergoing some big changes in coming months.

“We’ve already begun construction on the first ladies bathroom,” announced golf club manager Shawn McClain. “And to the dismay of our current members, we’ll be shutting down the on-site, gay nightclub by the end of September.”

U.S. researchers recently stumbled upon a compound that may finally lead to a birth control pill for men.

“Terrell Owens and I are hoping the same scientists invent a time machine next,” said Antonio Cromartie, the New York Jets cornerback with 12 kids. “Can you imagine how much simpler life would be for the two of us if this pill were around when we were rookies?”

As the only virgin in professional sports, quarterback Tim Tebow says he could care less about the ability to become infertile.

“Sex is gross, and you should only have to have it if you’re married, anyway,” the backup quarterback told OMGG.com. “There’s a reason I’m known as the king of the interception, not contraception!”

The teenage community is breathing a sigh of relief after a surveillance video was discovered that proves Kristen Stewart never actually cheated on heartthrob Robert Pattinson.

“She was just dancing with that Rupert Sanders guy,” said Twilight fan Mandy Saunders. “I knew Bella could never do anything to hurt Edward!”

After seeing the found footage, Pattinson expressed regret for breaking up with his former girlfriend.

“I really overreacted to a little bump-and-grind,” the 26-year old actor told OMGG.com. “If Kristen dumped me every time I gyrated against a male director, I would’ve been single ages ago.”