Joe Namath has always been a player, on and off the field.
The former New York Jets quarterback, who once got drunk and tried to kiss ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber during a Monday Night Football game, now has a new target.
Newly signed Jets gunslinger Tim Tebow.
“The kid’s arm is so weak he couldn’t throw a party,” slurred a boozy Broadway Joe when asked about Tebow. “But damn, have you seen him with his shirt off?”
March 22, 2012
The mystery brunette in the Hulk Hogan sex tape has been identified as none other than roided-out mongrel Chyna.
In the sought-after porn video, the former WWE Diva is alone in her apartment when she hears a knock at the door. She opens it to find to a greased-up pizza delivery guy (Hogan) wearing nothing but his patented yellow Speedo and a tank top that reads “Handlebar Rides 25 cents.”
OMGG.com caught up with the Hulkster to ask him about the Vivid video.
“Look brother, I’m not proud of what I did,” the balding blonde admitted. “But in my defense, I was so drunk I thought I was making love to Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake.”
March 22, 2012
Mitt Romney’s senior adviser recently said that if his candidate wins the Republican nomination, his campaign would be “like an Etch A Sketch — shake it up and start all over again.”
Romney’s GOP rivals used the comment as ammunition to attack the former Massachusetts governor over his flip-flopping on issues like health care and abortion.
Newt Gingrich even posed with an Etch A Sketch to mock his opponent, but quickly became distracted after picking up the toy.
“He’s now considering dropping out of the race to become an artist,” said Jacob Linden, Gingrich’s political advisor. “It’s first time I’ve seen him interested in something other than junk food and cheating on his wives.”
March 21, 2012
Sir Richard Branson has launched over 400 businesses, including a chain of record stores, a mobile phone company and an airline. He’s a humanitarian, philanthropist and one of TIME magazine’s “100 Most Influential People in the World.”
But the British billionaire’s greatest contribution to society is still in the pipeline.
Early next year, Branson will launch Ashton Kutcher into space aboard a Virgin Galactic shuttle.
“That floppy-haired douchebag has annoyed us all for the last time,” promised the Chairman of Virgin Group, rumored to be dating actress Demi Moore. “As a favor to the people of earth, I’ve instructed the captain to leave him on the moon.”
March 21, 2012
After signing one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time, the Denver Broncos sent arguably the most-religious of all-time packing.
“I’m proud to announce that we have sent Tim Tebow back to God, where he belongs,” said John Elway, the Broncos’ Executive VP of Operations. “In exchange, we’ll receive three bibles and a sixth round draft pick.”
Peyton Manning told OMGG.com he had to think long and hard about replacing the overly pious gunslinger.
“I was really nervous about taking Tim’s job,” admitted the former Indianapolis Colts leader. “I mean, I know I’m a better quarterback, but this likely means I’ll be condemned to hell for all eternity.”
March 23, 2012
0 Comments