OMGG

In his first-ever presidential debate, Mitt Romney was so dominant that many wondered if he was having an out-of-body experience.

“In a way, I was,” the Republican candidate admitted. “With so much on the line, I outsourced my spot at the podium to Bill Clinton, a man who I knew could outdebate anyone.”

Fox News discovered that the former president was paid $2 million for his services, a bargain considering the bump in the polls it provided Romney.

“I just dipped into one of my Cayman accounts to pay Mr. Clinton,” the 65-year old told OMGG.com. “If I decide to pay taxes in 2012, it’ll count as a write-off anyway!”

Less than a week after the real officials got their jobs back, NFL players and coaches want them fired.

“Against the Jaguars, a line judge spotted the ball four inches away from where I was actually down by contact,” Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton told OMGG.com. “Had the players realized these guys were capable of mistakes, we never would’ve clamored for their return.”

ESPN analyst Jon Gruden called on Commissioner Roger Goodell to “replace the replacements’ replacements” before things get out of hand.

“I feel it’s probably best to play without any officials at all,” remarked Gruden during this week’s Monday Night Football game. “I don’t see what could possibly go wrong if the players were instructed to use the honor system.”

After the Americans blew a 10-6 lead in the Ryder Cup over the weekend, Phil Mickelson pumped his fist in the air.

“Death to America!” screamed the 42-year old golfer, who later revealed he’ll be changing his name to Phil-Abbas Mickellah before next year’s U.S. Open.

Friends of the California-born pro, who currently holds the #16 spot in the Official World Golf Rankings, weren’t surprised by Mickelson’s admission.

“He once asked if I’d consider lining my sweater vest with explosives,” Tiger Woods told OMGG.com. “I scoffed at the idea, although I must admit the promise of 72 virgins did tempt me a bit.”