OMGG

According to a small article on page four of the USA Today sports section, the Indiana Fever won the WNBA title on Sunday.

Playing before eleven rowdy fans, Olympic gold medalist and series MVP Tamika Catchings scored 25 points in leading her team to victory.

Christina Tippie led the Minnesota Lynx with 12 points, despite reports that she’s seven months pregnant.

“I’m sad we lost, but at least my husband wasn’t here to see it,” said the 24-year old power forward. “I make him come sometimes, but only a terrible wife would ask him to sit through a WNBA game while football is on.”

After being stripped of his seven Tour de France titles, shamed cyclist Lance Armstrong decided it was finally time for him to halt his steroid use.

“I really wish he’d start taking them again,” admitted the former cyclist’s 23-year old girlfriend, Nancy Harris. “He’s turned into a total blob almost overnight.”

OMGG.com has learned that the constant juicing had been keeping Armstrong’s hypothyroidism in check for the past 30 years.

“Very few people realize that I was morbidly obese before I discovered a syringe full of testosterone on the playground in the 3rd grade,” the 41-year old told us. “Back in those days, I wouldn’t have been able to get a Livestrong bracelet around my fingers.”

After learning that a man in North Dakota sold a 20-year old container of McJordan barbecue sauce for $10,000 on eBay, Earl Goodman assumed he was about to be rich.

“McDonald’s had mass-produced that McJordan sauce in the 90s,” explained Goodman. “I recently discovered a jug of the much-rarer McPippen ketchup in my attic.”

Unfortunately for Goodman, the McPippen listing fetched a measly $4 plus shipping.

“Pippen’s ketchup was a lot like the player it was named after,” recalled McDonald’s patron Clarence Billings. “It was above average but too thin; probably never got the respect it deserved because it was the second best condiment at the time.”

ESPN is reporting that during a recent home game, Alex Rodriguez was caught hitting on Kyna Treacy, a bikini model who was sitting behind the dugout.

The struggling slugger is batting just .130 during the 2012 playoffs, and many fans are blaming his sex addiction.

“He’s always making me check his Match.com page during games to see how many winks he’s gotten,” complained ballboy Michael Wilhite. “Once at an away game in Baltimore, he spotted a cute fan and sent me out for condoms during the seventh inning stretch.”

Not everyone thinks A-Rod’s horniness is necessarily bad for the organization.

“To be honest, I’m hoping the stadium is full of hot chicks for Game 4,” Yankees manager Joe Girardi told OMGG.com. “At least that way he’ll be too distracted to ask me to put him in the game.”

After an MRI revealed a torn triceps, Ray Lewis announced that he’ll miss the rest of the 2012 season.

Many fear that the violent linebacker, who in 2000 was on trial for first degree murder, will become exceedingly dangerous without having football to help keep his aggression at bay.

After skipping the Ravens’ Tuesday morning practice, Lewis confirmed that he’s already thirsting for blood.

“Sadly, the rampage I’m going to go on will cost more than just lives,” the 13-time Pro Bowler told OMGG.com. “Roger Goodell is going to fine the sh*t out of me for what’s about to happen.”