A tearful Derek Jeter announced today that for the remainder of the year, he’ll be forced to focus his attention on having sex with beautiful women.
After breaking his ankle in the AL Championship Series against the Detroit Tigers, the 38-year old baseball star is done playing the game he loves until next spring.
The Yankees shortstop, whose dating past includes Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba and Mariah Carey, said he plans to focus on hooking up with more models this offseason while rehabbing his injury.
Although his sex-filled escapades with countless, flawless females sound enticing to some, Jeter insists he’d rather be on the field winning another World Series with his teammates.
“Playing a game for $15 million a year is my true passion, and that was taken away from me when I got hurt,” insisted the devilishly handsome ballplayer. “Sometimes I feel like the unluckiest man in the world!”
October 15, 2012
SPORTS