OMGG

Now that Frank McCourt has agreed to sell the Dodgers, the New York Yankees have expressed interest in scooping them up.

Other potential buyers include Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and previous Dodgers owner Peter O’Malley, but neither is likely to win a bidding war against the deep-pocketed Yanks.

Historically, an entire baseball team has never been absorbed by another, but it actually makes sense in this case.

“We are going to get all their best players when they hit free agency anyway,” said Yankees GM Brian Cashman. “We figure buying the team now will just cut out the middle man.”

The Chicago Cubs fired manager Mike Quade today, and it didn’t take long for new President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein to find his successor.

“For years, Chicago residents have been blaming our team’s poor play on the curse of the goat,” announced Epstein. “This is why I’ve decided to bring in Billy.”

Epstein is referring to the alleged hex that was placed on the Chicago Cubs in 1945 when a man was asked to leave a World Series game because his pet goat’s odor was bothering fans. The team hasn’t won a championship since.

When told he’d be managed by a farm animal in 2012, starting pitcher Matt Garza seemed relieved. “To be honest, I was afraid they’d hire Ozzie Guillen.”

After weeks of getting to know each other through tabloids and reality TV, Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian shocked the world by hastily dissolving a marriage that several family members and friends expected to last upwards of three months.

But it wasn’t meant to be, and now that this holiest of Hollywood unions is kaput, lawyers have been brought in to make sense of the stars’ prenuptial agreement.

“Kim is very business-minded, and she strategically tailored her prenup to make sure she wouldn’t be affected financially by a split,” Kim’s divorce attorney told OMGG.com. “She gets to keep the house, jewelry, cars and all profits from her clothing line.”

As for Kris?

“If the NBA lockout ends, he’ll get to keep his salary,” said his attorney. “As a token of their appreciation, the Kardashians have also offered him Khloe.”