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2011 ESPN Body Issue: Rafael Nadal

October 7, 2011

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2011 ESPN Body Issue: Rafael Nadal

Yesterday, we released a previously unseen nude photo of Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia from the third annual ESPN the Magazine Body Issue, which hit newsstands Wednesday.

Within minutes, we were bombarded with emails from athletes letting us know that they, too, were left out of this year’s controversial periodical.

Tennis superstar Rafael Nadal was among those who felt slighted.

“Apparently ESPN has something against Spaniards,” Nadal wrote in a scathing email to OMGG.com. “Please publish my photo and show the world how flawless my physique is.”

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2011 ESPN Body Issue: CC Sabathia

October 6, 2011

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2011 ESPN Body Issue: The Unseen Photo

The third annual ESPN the Magazine Body Issue hit newsstands yesterday.

A naked Hope Solo is among the 22 sports stars included in the publication, which features both male and female athletes with seemingly unattainable bodies.

A representative for CC Sabathia contacted OMGG.com this morning to let us know that the New York Yankees pitcher actually posed for this year’s cover, but his photo was inexplicably left out.

“He’s devastated that ESPN chose to exclude him,” said Danny Lien, Sabathia’s agent. “He’s starting to wonder if all the time he spends working out in the offseason is just a waste of his time.”

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Ben Roethlisberger’s Slow Start Blamed on Too Much Consensual Sex

October 5, 2011

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Ben Roethlisberger's Slow Start Blamed on Too Much Consensual Sex

Coming into the 2011 season, Ben Roethlisberger had his fair share of off-the-field problems. Already known for being a playboy, he faced sexual assault allegations in Nevada in 2008 and again in Georgia in 2010. He was suspended for the start of the 2010 NFL season, but came back to lead the Pittsburgh Steelers to the Super Bowl.

This offseason, Roethlisberger vowed to turn his life around and married girlfriend Ashley Harlan.

“It was like when Samson had all of his beautiful hair chopped off,” recalls teammate Troy Polamalu. “As soon as Ben lost his desire to rape, he became less aggressive on the field.”

A look at Big Ben’s numbers validate Polamalu’s claims. Through four games in 2011, he’s thrown just three touchdowns and five interceptions, has a pedestrian 80.2 passer rating and has led his talented team to a 2-2 record.

“Coming into the season he was one of the most efficient passers in NFL history,” said Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin. “For the good of our team, someone needs to hand him some roofies and lock him in a sorority ASAP.”

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Oh Baby: Michael Vick of the Philadelphia Eagles

September 30, 2011

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Oh Baby: Michael Vick of the Philadelphia Eagles

It’s no wonder Michael Vick isn’t a fan of dogs. OMGG.com uncovered this picture of the Philadelphia Eagles signal caller being attacked by a vicious pit bull when he was just a toddler.

“That explains a lot,” said ASPCA spokesman Jeorse Lund. “Our organization would like to offer Mr. Vick a sincere apology.”

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Chris Johnson Admits He’s Sucking on Purpose to Ruin Fan’s Fantasy Team

September 29, 2011

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Chris Johnson Admits He's Sucking on Purpose to Ruin Fan's Fantasy Team

When Joe “Beds” Madrid took Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson with the second overall pick in his fantasy draft this year, he figured his team was a shoo-in for the playoffs.

But what he failed to realize was that Johnson was just waiting to get drafted by him so he could stop trying.

“Payback’s a bitch,” laughed Johnson, who is clearly still hurt after Madrid called him a “whiner” on the ESPN message boards during his training camp holdout this August.

But after agreeing to a four-year, $53.5 million contract extension, the vengeful Johnson sat back and waited.

“Joey fell right into my trap,” smirked the player known as CJ2K. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t make a cent in his league this year. Hell, I’m getting paid regardless.”

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