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Reports show that delusional former-Fox News personality Glenn Beck is one of the ten highest-paid public speakers, currently pulling in over $100,000 per engagement.

“Glenn is worth every penny…he’s stupendicious,” stated Sarah Palin, who took time out of her busy schedule to make up yet another word.

Beck, who has been known to masturbate every time the Terror Alert Level reaches orange, feels he deserves even more.

“Tony Blair, Bill Clinton and Lance Armstrong each make more than me per speech,” explained Beck. “And what exactly have any of those guys accomplished?”

Rick Santorum can’t catch a break.

The GOP candidate, who lost the 2012 Iowa Caucus by just eight votes last night, learned this morning that his wife and four other members of his family had voted for front-runner Mitt Romney.

The Des Moines results are often an indicator of who’ll succeed in the New Hampshire caucuses, and ultimately, who’ll secure the Republican nomination.

“Obviously, I’d love to see my brother in the White House,” David Santorum told OMGG.com. “But I have to admit, an itsy bitsy part of me believes I subconsciously voted for Romney because Rick is such a vile piece of sh#t.”

Political commentator and part-time model Rush Limbaugh says Michelle Obama needs to cease her healthy-eating initiative if she ever hopes to get in shape.

“Her Let’s Move campaign is far too preachy,” said Limbaugh, People magazine’s reigning Sexiest Man Alive.

The conservative radio talk show host went on to criticize the First Lady’s size 6 figure, calling it “slightly imperfect.”

“Look, I’d like to defend my wife’s honor, but Rush does have a point,” President Obama recently told OMGG.com. “I mean, he grew up eating nothing but Spam and bacon-wrapped meatloaf, and look how amazing he turned out.”

A sneak peek of Julianne Moore as Sarah Palin in HBO Films’ adaptation of the best-selling book Game Change was released last week.

The four-time Oscar nominee claims she spent countless hours preparing for the part by watching Fox News, praying and steering clear of books.

“People think all the role entails is saying absurd things and being folksy, but there’s a lot more to it than that,” said Moore.  “You also have to throw all common sense and logic out the window.”

Palin told OMGG.com that HBO sent her an advanced copy of the film, but she hasn’t watched it yet.

“It’s not that I’ve been too busy,” exclaimed the dimwitted politician. “Todd and I just can’t figure out how to work the gosh darn DVD player.”

Kim Jong-un, the youngest son of the recently-deceased Kim Jong-il, was today named Chairman of the Central Military Commission, effectively putting him in charge of the overall party leadership.

But long before he ruled every man and woman in North Korea, the chubby-cheeked 28-year old had already captured the hearts of their teenage daughters…thanks to his fashion-forward hair style.

“He so sexy,” said 16-year old Paek Sung-Min. “I’d give anything to run my fingers through that greasy patch of hair resting atop his otherwise bald head.”

The powerful dictator, referred to as ‘East Asia’s Justin Bieber’ by a slew of admirers, says there’s much more to his sex appeal than just a manly mane.

“I’m finally coming into my own as a style icon, so watch out ladies,” Jong-un told OMGG.com. “I recently inherited all of my dad’s skin-tight beige jumpsuits and oversized sunglasses.”