OMGG

Demi Moore announced today that she will divorce Ashton Kutcher, and it has nothing to do with the Sara Leal cheating scandal.

“To put it simply, he just got too old,” Moore confessed.

The 33-year old Kutcher responded to the divorce via twitter, as he’s too socially inept to communicate any other way.

“As soon as I got my first wrinkle, I knew I was dead to her,” he tweeted. “Last week, she tried to seduce my 2.5 Men co-star Angus T. Jones.”

The victim of Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s latest irritating tirade? None other than the host of Real Time, Bill Maher.

Maher made a joke on his HBO comedy show back in February about sending Hasselbeck to Egypt in exchange for detained reporter Lara Logan, but sadly it went completely over the head of the right-wing TV personality.

“I got upset because I’m pretty sure he was saying I’m a slave,” the dimwitted blonde told OMGG. “I heard there is like a law banning that or something, so what he did was bad.”

When Maher attempted to explain his joke so that even a simpleton like Hasselbeck could understand, The View co-host plugged her ears with her fingers and chanted, “I can’t hear you, lalalalalalalalalalala.”

By Sebastian Updyke
OMGG.com Film/TV Critic
November 16, 2011

I just watched woke up from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1. I don’t want to say the movie bored me, but I haven’t slept that well since my infamous four-day Ambien/pot brownie bender that preluded my return to rehab in 2008.

The film started off alright, with a controversial sex scene steamy enough to keep tween girls and former-Penn State Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky clamoring for more.

But mere moments after Jake (played by 4’11″ heartthrob Taylor Lautner) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) share their final kiss, the movie falls apart. Bella (Kristen Stewart) moves to Camden, New Jersey, where she meets an elderly werewolf named Peter (John Lithgow) with whom she falls in love. In a dark twist, the rest of the cast *SPOILER ALERT* is wiped out after a tsunami hits the Pacific Northwest.

The Bottom Line: The movie’s pacing is slow, but if you’re looking for hot vampire-on-werewolf lovemaking, this is the second best film in theaters at the moment (Immortals has a shockingly similar plot).

Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars

Bradley Cooper seems to have it made.  The 36-year old leading man is hot, funny, smart and successful. OMGG.com set out this week to knock him down a peg.

We hired Kay Brack, an acclaimed New York-based private investigator to see what she could dig up on the man People magazine just named the ‘Sexiest Men Alive’.

“Until now, everyone I’ve researched had skeletons in their closet,” said Brack.  “But this man is literally perfect.”

According to his bio, The Hangover star was an honors student at Georgetown University, went kayaking with Orca Whales in British Columbia and enjoys ice climbing in the Peruvian Andes.  He also volunteers at a non-profit organization that teaches acting to inner city school children.

“He’s athletic, romantic and the best lover I’ve ever had,” added Renee Zellweger, the actor’s ex-girlfriend. “I’m not even mad at him for dumping me, the guy was way out of my league.”

This past Sunday, reality star Kat Von D announced via Facebook that former fiancee Jesse James cheated on her with at least 19 women. After word of his conquests spread, James was contacted by Tiger Woods about joining a prestigious secret society.

“We call ourselves the ‘Fraud Squad’,” explained the golf legend. “We’re a group of celebrity men who’ve been shunned by the public for our sexual misconduct.”

Members of the exclusive bad boys club include Hugh Grant, Jude Law, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the entire NBA, Bill Clinton and of course Woods, who serves as president.

“I’m honored they finally reached out to me,” gushed James, who said he’s nervous for his induction ceremony this Friday night at Hooters.