OMGG

Matthew McConaughey won’t make a run for the border anytime soon.

The actor (and we use that term loosely) says Taco Bell’s “no shirt, no service” policy is discriminatory, and he’s filed a lawsuit against the fast food chain.

“Nobody tells McConaughey to put on a shirt,” said the narcissistic star of We Are Marshall.

Taco Bell spokesman Robert Zazzali called the lawsuit frivolous, pointing out that customers are welcome to use the drive-thru topless, if they prefer.

McConaughey took to his Twitter page this afternoon to respond: Drive-thru? Sorry, but if I’m eating Taco Bell I’m way too stoned to drive.

Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth, who just spent their first Christmas together as a married couple, revealed a shocking secret to OMGG.com — THEY MET ONLINE!

“Like a lot of people, I struggled to find a good guy in LA,” explained the Legally Blonde star.  “I decided to give eHarmony a try after seeing a commercial offering a free trial month.”

Toth, a top agent at Creative Artists Agency in Hollywood, says at first he was skeptical of Witherspoon’s profile.  “I’d been duped in the past by an Angelina Jolie imposter.”

But WitheredSpoon69 turned out to be the real Reese, and the couple decided to meet for lunch at an Olive Garden in Manhattan Beach.  Says Toth, “We’ve been inseparable ever since!”

(THE FOLLOWING IS A CELEBRITY-WRITTEN NOTE CONFISCATED BY A MAILMAN ON THE OMGG.COM PAYROLL.  THE RESPONSE LETTER CAN BE FOUND BELOW THE ONE WRITTEN BY SPENCER):

Dear Match.com,

I’ve been trying to meet someone new since Heidi is refusing to go on Relationship Rehab with me to work out our problems. I’ve tried all the conventional dating methods — chat rooms, bars, escort services, underground orgies, etc, but nothing has worked.

A friend recently convinced me to give online courtship a try, claiming he met tons of easy chicks that were looking to party.  I signed up for Lavalife because I saw their ad featuring a beauty in a bikini, and thought to myself, “that’s someone I’d totally bang.”  Unfortunately, the only girls who replied to my ad were either too old, or refused to email a photo (probably fatties).

I’m thinking of giving Match.com a whirl, but wanted to know if there is any sort of “money-back guarantee” if I don’t get laid.  I listed a free profile a while back and got a few winks, but that was probably just because I’m good-looking.

Let me know,

Spencer Pratt

All over Great Britain, there has been one question on everyone’s mind this holiday season — what will Kate Middleton get her famous mother-in-law, Queen Elizabeth, for Christmas?

“I mean, what do you get the woman who has everything?” Middleton asked. “In the end, I went with a customized Snuggie. It came down to that or a set of Shake Weights.”

OMGG.com spoke with the Queen, who didn’t seem very appreciative.

“I know it’s the thought that counts,” said Her Majesty. “But I bought that girl a pair of six-carat diamond earrings, and she had the audacity to give me a backwards bathrobe?”

Former American Idol finalist Adam Lambert and his reality star boyfriend, Sauli Koskinen, were incarcerated last night after an alleged barroom brawl. But the couple insists it was all just a ploy to get a free vacation.

“We’d talked about going on a romantic cruise, but neither of us could afford it,” explained Lambert. “So we opted for a night in a Finnish prison…and it was everything we’d dreamed it’d be.”

Koskinen, a contestant on Finland’s Big Brother, said he’ll never forget the time he and Adam shared in the communal showers. In fact, he said there were only two things he didn’t like about jail — the food, and witnessing a guard get stabbed to death with a toothbrush.

“It was just the spark their relationship needed,” Helsinki Central Prison inmate Janne Braaten told OMGG.com. “As visitors to this fine establishment, they were able to experience what we call the three Rs — rest, relaxation and rape.”