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April 25, 2012

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Snoop Dogg Files Restraining Order Against Tupac Hologram

Snoop Dogg claims the Tupac Hologram hasn’t left him alone since their performances earlier this month.

“2Pac been stalkin’ me, ya dig?” the rapper posted on his Facebook page. “Tried to lose him in the desert after Coachella, but he always be one step behind me.”

According to Dr. Dre, the optical illusion has become such a nuisance that he and Snoop no longer plan to take him out on tour this summer.

“It’s all good, if they don’t want me I’ll hit the road solo,” the digital image told OMGG.com. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some hologram bitches to f#ck.”

April 25, 2012

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Mila Kunis Refuses to Admit She’s Dating Ashton Kutcher

Despite taking a romantic vacation together last weekend, Mila Kunis says that she and Ashton Kutcher aren’t an item.

“Anyone who has ever seen an episode of Two and a Half Men would know that Ashton isn’t my type,” said the Friends with Benefits star. “I prefer a guy with a sense of humor.”

OMGG.com caught up with Kutcher, who didn’t seem too upset to learn that Kunis is still denying their relationship.

“To be honest, it’s a bit of a relief,” said the No Strings Attached star. “The way I see it, now she can’t get mad at me when I cheat on her!”

April 25, 2012

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Paranoid Susan Sarandon Claims Aliens Are Spying On Her

Earlier this week, actress Susan Sarandon told US Weekly that she’s under 24-hour surveillance by the government.

Today, the delusional left-wing activist took her claims a step further.

In an exclusive interview with OMGG.com this morning, the 65-year old said the White House recently sent extraterrestrial visitors from Roswell to monitor her every move.

“Being surrounded by aliens is the last thing I need,” a distraught Sarandon told us. “People already confuse me with Sigourney Weaver enough as is.”

April 24, 2012

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Mr. Freeze to Return in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

The new, extended trailer for The Dark Knight Rises was unveiled yesterday, and fans were disappointed to discover an unpopular villain is returning to the franchise.

Arnold Schwarzenegger will reprise his role as supervillain Mr. Freeze, a mad scientist who bases his crimes around an ice theme, often shooting a “cold gun” to freeze his foes.

OMGG.com insiders have learned that Danny DeVito will also return as The Penguin, a deformed sociopath known for his love of birds and high-tech umbrellas.

“I admit I phoned it in, the pressure really got to me,” said director Christopher Nolan.
The Dark Knight was just so good that people had unrealistic expectations for this one.”

See the uncut preview BY CLICKING HERE.

April 23, 2012

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Richard Gere Announces Plan to Stick Gerbil Back Up His Butt

In the early 90s, Richard Gere was admitted to an LA hospital to have a gerbil removed from his rectum.

Twenty years later, the actor held a press conference to announce he’s putting it back in.

With PETA protesters marching nearby, Gere told OMGG.com that he needs to do “whatever it takes” to stay on the minds of directors these days.

“When I stuck the critter up my anus to promote Internal Affairs, people said I was crazy…but it made me a household name,” explained the actor. “Who knows what it’ll lead to this time? I’m really gunning for a voiceover role in Disney’s G-Force 2.”