OMGG

After an abundance of harsh criticism came his way for tweeting his support of Joe Paterno, Ashton Kutcher said he will quit twitter until he can properly manage his feed.

“This is the worst day of my life,” said 16-year old Tanya Kyko. “Now how will I know when Two and a Half Men is on?”

Kutcher’s twitter feed currently has over 8.2 million followers, more than CNN or Oprah.

“I could kill Jerry (Sandusky) with my bare hands,” Joe Paterno said after hearing the news. “Molesting kids is one thing, but taking down aplusk is truly unforgivable.”

On December 17th, Oscar De La Hoya will return to the ring to fight Floyd Mayweather, Jr. — in lingerie.

The cross-dressing boxing legend told OMGG.com that he’d prefer to stay retired, and could care less about winning back the World Welterweight Title.

So why fight?

“To be honest, I need the money,” said the Golden Boy. “That new Victoria’s Secret Incredible Collection ain’t cheap.”

Perhaps Joe Paterno was more involved in the Penn State scandal than originally believed.

Moments ago, a source called OMGG.com’s criminal investigations team claiming Paterno was fired for supplying Jerry Sandusky with an endless supply of boys in exchange for complicated defensive schemes.

“Paterno knew the importance of a strong defense,” said the source. “Sadly, there was only one way to keep Jerry motivated.”