OMGG

Tim Tebow has publicly stated that he wants to be the New York Jets’ starting quarterback in 2012. Unfortunately, that job currently belongs to another man.

“I sure wouldn’t want to be Mark Sanchez right now,” admitted head coach Rex Ryan. “That son of a bitch will probably get struck by lightning any minute now.”

Tebow, a pious southpaw universally considered the holiest man in sports, said he’ll be forced to ask for God’s help if Satan Sanchez doesn’t step aside.

“I’m praying Mark does the right thing,” Tebow told OMGG.com. “But if he insists on being damned to hell for all eternity, that’s on him.”

Joe Namath has always been a player, on and off the field.

The former New York Jets quarterback, who once got drunk and tried to kiss ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber during a Monday Night Football game, now has a new target.

Newly signed Jets gunslinger Tim Tebow.

“The kid’s arm is so weak he couldn’t throw a party,” slurred a boozy Broadway Joe when asked about Tebow. “But damn, have you seen him with his shirt off?”

The mystery brunette in the Hulk Hogan sex tape has been identified as none other than roided-out mongrel Chyna.

In the sought-after porn video, the former WWE Diva is alone in her apartment when she hears a knock at the door. She opens it to find to a greased-up pizza delivery guy (Hogan) wearing nothing but his patented yellow Speedo and a tank top that reads “Handlebar Rides 25 cents.”

OMGG.com caught up with the Hulkster to ask him about the Vivid video.

“Look brother, I’m not proud of what I did,” the balding blonde admitted. “But in my defense, I was so drunk I thought I was making love to Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake.”

After signing one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time, the Denver Broncos sent arguably the most-religious of all-time packing.

“I’m proud to announce that we have sent Tim Tebow back to God, where he belongs,” said John Elway, the Broncos’ Executive VP of Operations. “In exchange, we’ll receive three bibles and a sixth round draft pick.”

Peyton Manning told OMGG.com he had to think long and hard about replacing the overly pious gunslinger.

“I was really nervous about taking Tim’s job,” admitted the former Indianapolis Colts leader. “I mean, I know I’m a better quarterback, but this likely means I’ll be condemned to hell for all eternity.”

After his team lost to Lehigh in the first round of the NCAA tournament, doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital say Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski began showing signs of the rare neurological disorder “March Madness.”