OMGG

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi announced today that she’ll soon be turning to fellow Jersey girl Patricia Krentcil for parenting advice.

The Jersey Shore star told OMGG.com that she’s inspired by the way the Tanning Mom is able to manage a busy career while keeping her daughter so golden brown.

Krentcil has been accused of causing skin burns to her six-year-old by taking her into a tanning booth, but Snooki says the complaints are being made by “jealous haters.”

“Anyone saying bad stuff about Patricia is racist,” Polizzi told us. “It’s sad the way people are judging her based on the color of her skin.”

HBO’s hit show Game of Thrones was put on hiatus midway through the second season, after every major character died during Sunday night’s episode.

Producers met in West Los Angeles this morning to discuss what to do with the cast-less series they’ve spent over $100 million on to build up a loyal following.

The show, based upon George R. R. Martin’s cycle of novels about seven noble families fighting for control of a mythical land, had been staying fairly true to the books until recently.

“It creates a buzz every time a character is killed, so I guess we got a little carried away,” admitted Thrones scribe Jane Espenson. “Unfortunately, all we’ve got left to work with now are a few baby dragons and a cloud of Melisandre’s murderous, black vagina smoke.”

It looks like the New Orleans Saints weren’t the only team with a bounty program.

OMGG.com has learned that oft-fined Steelers linebacker James Harrison once contributed to a pool intended to pay money for injuring NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

An investigation showed that both players and league officials were offered $1000 for tackling Goodell at an NFL game, $5000 for giving him a wedgie or $10,000 for urinating on him, with payouts doubling if done in front of his family.

“Bounty programs intended to hurt or injure players are wrong, and I commend the commissioner for putting an end to them,” said New York Jets holy man Tim Tebow. “That being said, I applaud Harrison for trying to embarrass that smug prick.”

Mitt Romney claims he doesn’t recall picking on a homosexual student in high school, so OMGG.com decided to refresh his memory.

Our team of investigators uncovered a photo of the presidential candidate at Cranbrook, an elite all-boys preparatory school in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan.

The picture shows the then 17-year old dunking gay classmate Harry Winterbottom into a commode, something he was apparently famous for back in the 60s.

“Whenever Mitt found out someone was gay, he would have a hard time deciding whether to give him a swirly or a titty twister,” said fellow Cranbrook student Matt Schnedder. “He always seemed to flip-flop on which bullying technique to use.”

After Time magazine’s ‘Attachment Parenting’ issue became the most talked about edition in years, publishers announced plans to up ante next week by showcasing Jennifer Lopez breastfeeding her much-younger boyfriend, Casper Smart.

“We took a chance showing a three-year old sucking on his mother’s breast this week, and it’s projected to be our bestselling magazine ever,” revealed Time‘s Editor-in-Chief, Robin Belle. “Our expectations are through the roof for next week’s controversial ‘Cougar Dating’ cover.”

Lopez revealed exclusively to OMGG.com that her Time photo shoot nearly didn’t happen, as Casper had a temper tantrum on his way to the studio.

“My little man was cranky because he had to skip his afternoon nap,” the 42-year old singer told us. “But he finally agreed to sit still after the photographer promised him a cherry lollipop.”