Gary Bettman Blamed for Fighting in the Middle East

Gary Bettmen, embroiled in his third lockout since being named NHL commissioner in 1993, has shifted his focus towards brokering peace in the Middle East.

“People are calling me ‘the worst negotiator of all-time’,” the 60-year old told OMGG.com. “I bet I’ll prove my doubters wrong when I get the Israelis and Palestinians to stop fighting.”

Sadly, within 12 minutes of Bettman’s arrival in Jerusalem yesterday, gunfire broke out near the Gaza Strip border, breaching a two-day-old cease-fire.

“If you ask me, Gary is doing a fantastic job,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “He’s the only man in professional sports that makes me look reasonably competent!”