NHL Going Bankrupt, Nobody Cares

A new, secret National Hockey League report revealed that the only profitable teams over the last few years were located in Canada.

Hockey, nearly impossible to watch unless you’re looking to nap or live somewhere boring like Winnipeg, may be headed for bankruptcy unless more teams move north of the border.

All-time great Wayne Gretzky urged American fans to pack arenas in 2012, saying it may be the only way to save the silly, useless sport.

“Hold on a minute, so he’s saying professional hockey is still around?” asked stunned sports fan Damon Paine.  “I was told they shut down the NHL in the late-90s!”