OMGG

Amanda Bynes, worried she might get jail time for driving while intoxicated and sideswiping a police car, reached out to an unlikely source for help yesterday.

The Easy A actress tweeted the President of the United States, asking him to “fire” the officer who arrested her.

Not surprisingly, the commander-in-chief was quick to respond.

“I signed an executive order this afternoon…the entire LAPD has been let go, effective immediately,” Obama told OMGG.com. “With the country in such good shape, ensuring Amanda’s happiness has become my top priority.”

This morning, OMGG.com obtained footage of the steamy lap dance that was cut from the film Rock of Ages.

“Truth is, we never wanted to edit the scene out,” said director Adam Shankman. “Unfortunately, we had to because we couldn’t get Tom Cruise to act like he was enjoying himself.”

Cruise, known for his rugged good looks and heterosexual demeanor, explained that he simply doesn’t find Julianne Hough attractive.

“She was practically naked, grinding her crotch all over me,” explained the Mission Impossible star. “I ought to win an Academy Award for being able to keep myself from vomiting.”

This morning, Kim Kardashian retracted the apology she issued to the people of India after publicly stating that their food is disgusting.

“It’s the Native American Indians whose food I despise,” explained the 31-year old. “All that carb-heavy corn is so gross.”

This wasn’t the first time the socialite confused the two cultures.

“Kim spent some time in Mumbai filming a commercial last year,” Bollywood actress Sonakshi Sinha told OMGG.com. “At one point she asked if I was a part of the Cherokee tribe.”