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Donald Trump announced today that while he’s glad Obama was able to produce a birth certificate, the president still has a lot to prove.

“There was this big brouhaha over him being the first black president, but what has he done to confirm he’s black,” said The Donald, who’s considering a run at the Republican nomination in 2012.

Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) feels The Apprentice host may be onto something.

“I’m not saying I agree with Mr. Trump’s allegations, but as someone who loves America, it’s certainly worth looking into. The House of Representatives will launch a formal investigation Monday morning.”

Social conservative Sarah Palin has a better idea. “I think the only way we can ever be certain Obama is African American is to see if he can rap.”

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Paul Marcarelli, the actor who played the Verizon “Can you hear me now” nerd, announced via his blog that he’s been fired from his cushy commercial gig after nine years.

If you were in the minority and enjoyed the irritating ads, don’t fret. The bespectacled geek told fans a bidding war is underway between competing networks for his services.

“I’m currently considering offers from Sprint, Virgin Mobile and Cricket,” said the stunned pitchman.

According to rumors, AT&T Senior Executive Randall Stephenson tried to get in touch with Marcarelli as well, but his iPhone kept dropping out and he eventually gave up.

The Paul Reiser Show debuted Thursday night with a 1.1 rating amongst adults 18-49, making it the lowest-rated comedy sitcom ever broadcast on a major network.

“I wish I could say I’m surprised,” said Reiser, the show’s star. “Personally, I wanted to TiVo it, but my wife was already recording Vampire Diaries.”

NBC executives strategically placed the show in the coveted 8:30pm slot, hoping viewers would accidentally tune into The Office early and boost ratings.

Diane Womack from Clark Fork, Idaho actually watched the show intentionally and gave it rave reviews. “It’s like a better version of Mad About You…you get all the puns and Jew humor without that twat Helen Hunt getting in the way.”

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