OMGG

Not long after being named the face of ‘Madden NFL 12’, Cleveland Browns running back Peyton Hillis reports he woke up with several pimples on his nose and left cheek.

“I never had a zit in my life before being on the cover of that stupid game,” claimed the football stud. “Now I wear my helmet to the supermarket just to cover my hideous face.”

In the past, the “Madden Curse” has been blamed for everything from Donovan McNabb’s crippling sports hernia to the retirement of Barry Sanders, but never anything this gruesome.

Daunte Culpepper, who suffered a career-ending knee injury after appearing on the Madden cover years ago, said Hillis should look on the bright side. “At least he can get some endorsement money from doing one of those Proactiv commercials.”

Christina Aguilera’s ex-husband is said to be baffled by how little attention women have paid to him since his high-profile divorce.  

It’s been nearly 10 months since Jordan Bratman split from Aguilera, and the 34-year old claims women won’t give him the time of day. The homely music producer was spotted partying at LA hotspot Le Deux last night, where he was served another dose of reality.

“I was called ‘creepy’ for trying to buy a girl a drink,” Bratman told us. “I used to be married to one of the most talented and beautiful women in the world, how come I can’t even get a phone number now?”

Celebrity stylist Kathleen Bily has a theory as to how Jordan landed Christina in the first place. “He has a beard, so maybe she couldn’t tell how ugly his actual face was.  Plus, I think he’s really rich.”

A goodwill game between Georgetown University and China’s Bayi Rockets turned violent yesterday, moments after Carl Douglas’ hit song Kung Fu Fighting was accidentally played over the PA system.

“When the music started, everyone just froze in their tracks and started punching each other,” explained American spectator Alex Lamperti. “It was f*cking awesome!”

Highlights of the fracas have spread across YouTube, and in less than 24 hours the melee had been viewed by over 19 million people, making it the most-watched NCAA basketball game in history.

“Our athletic director just called me to say he’s thrilled with the ratings,” remarked Georgetown coach John Thompson III. “He’s currently working out a deal for us to fight the Russians on pay-per-view.”