OMGG

With the average price for gas surpassing $4 a gallon over the weekend, Americans were in desperate need of good news, and at 8:15am some was finally delivered. According to President Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden is still dead.

“This is a great day for America,” exclaimed travel agent Melissa Farrar, who is taking the week off to celebrate.

In a statement to reporters, Obama once again thanked the servicemen for their hard work, and said he hopes the news will “make us forget about this whole ‘higher gas prices during an economic collapse’ thing.”

While the president’s approval rating has surged, Donald Trump warned Fox News’ Sean Hannity that bin Laden’s death certificate may very well be a fake.

Lin-credible news out of New York!

Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin, who has taken the NBA by storm after leading his team to six straight victories, finally came clean today…he’s Michael Jordan.

Sporting a Mission Impossible-style mask last night, the faux-Asian led his team to a thrilling, last-second victory over the Toronto Raptors. Lin/Jordan hit the game-winning shot with less than a second left on the clock, sending the crowd into a frenzy.

“I’ll always be remembered as the greatest player of all time, but that isn’t enough,” Jordan explained to OMGG.com. “I also want to be known as the second greatest.”

Political pundits are saying Rick Santorum is making a grave error by looking past Oklahoma’s March 6 Republican primary.

Coming off a three-state sweep on Tuesday evening, the overconfident GOP candidate feels it’s “unnecessary” to campaign in the Sooner State, electing instead to start moving his belongings into the White House this morning.

“My husband’s presidency is inevitable,” explained Karen Santorum, “so we swung by our new home to drop off some bath towels and our lucky stack of bibles.”

Unfortunately, the conservative and his family were met at the gate by Secret Service.

“Obama’s goons wouldn’t even let me bring my desktop into the Oval Office,” an angry Santorum told OMGG.com. “Just another prime example of socialism.”

In addition to another Super Bowl ring, New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning drove off in a brand new Corvette after being named the game’s MVP.

Manning called winning the $69,000 convertible his “proudest moment” and began to tear up when General Motors CEO Daniel Akerson handed him the keys to his dream car.

Tom Brady told OMGG.com that the only thing more painful than not hoisting the Lombardi Trophy this year was not getting that free Chevrolet.

“It just motivates me to work harder next year,” said the handsome signal caller. “Gisele and I are starting to get real tired of sharing her Nissan Altima.”

Gisele Bündchen likes a winner.

When the former Victoria’s Secret Angel began dating Tom Brady in 2006, he had just won three out of four Super Bowls, having been named MVP in two of them.

Brady returned to football’s biggest stage in 2008, but his Patriots lost to Eli Manning’s New York Giants, 17-14.

“Tom may be far superior looks-wise, but I don’t date losers,” Bündchen told OMGG.com. “Sunday’s winner is bringing home a supermodel along with the Lombardi Trophy.”