OMGG

Mayim Bialik’s publicist claims her client was involved in a minor fender bender yesterday, but eyewitnesses say things were far worse than what’s being reported.

OMGG.com photographers were the first on the scene, and couldn’t help but notice that the actress’ right hand was severed at the elbow.

The 36-year old star begged reporters not to let on the extent of her injuries, afraid any disfigurement might jeopardize her lucrative new Big Bang Theory gig.

“If you keep this quiet, I’ll give you all handjobs with my still-functioning left palm,” Bialick promised passersby. “I’m begging you, I haven’t had a solid paycheck like this since Blossom.”

Many are claiming Christina Aguilera’s new promotional photo for Season Three of The Voice has been digitally altered, so this morning OMGG.com caught up with the singer to get her take.

“I didn’t really notice any photoshopping,” the 31-year old diva told us. “I mean, they might’ve lightened my hair or something.”

Aguilera’s publicist Vanessa Isen agrees, insisting she doesn’t understand why fans are saying her client is barely recognizable in the pic.

“There is a reasonable explanation for why her face and body look slimmer,” explained Isen. “By now, I think we’re all familiar with the saying, ‘the camera loses 50 pounds’.”

Things are getting ugly in the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries divorce proceedings.

The basketball star suggested that his ex married him as a ploy to drive up her reality show’s ratings, which is fraud — a crime punishable by up to six months in jail.

Kardashian, who recently donned prison orange for an upcoming episode of Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva, says she’d happily spend time in the slammer if it meant Kris would leave her alone.

“He wants me to either pay him half my fortune or agree to annul our marriage,” the 31-year old socialite told OMGG.com. “Unfortunately, until he explains to me what ‘annul’ means, there isn’t much I can do.”

On Tuesday, TMZ reported that Donna D’Errico was injured in Turkey last weekend when she fell down a mountain while searching for Noah’s Ark.

OMGG.com investigators have learned, however, that the injuries were actually sustained after the Baywatch babe discovered the biblical vessel.

“I was climbing onto the boat’s second deck, when I noticed a door,” explained the former Playboy Playmate of the Month. “I opened it, and was immediately run down by a pair of elephants.”

The beauty insists her injuries won’t keep her from her next expedition, scheduled for late-September.

“I’m going to find the elusive Fountain of Youth,” promised the 44-year old nutcase. “I recently ran into my old co-star, David Hasselhoff, and let’s just say he’s in dire need of a bath in it.”

Paul Ryan’s mission is clear.

“I want to help Mitt Romney become President of the United States,” the 42-year old told OMGG.com. “I plan to do this by being extra handsome over the next few months.”

According to Republican strategists, the Representative from Wisconsin’s bold initiative is already paying dividends.

“Mr. Ryan has made conservatives ‘cool’ again,” Rush Limbaugh told OMGG.com. “In fact, a new CNN poll shows that we’ve already secured 89% of the 14-year old female vote.”