OMGG

We can’t show you the Tupac sex tape yet because Earl, our Director of Video Uploading, has the day off.

In the meantime, please enjoy another exclusive OMGG.com image from the raunchy video.

Coming into the 2011 season, Ben Roethlisberger had his fair share of off-the-field problems. Already known for being a playboy, he faced sexual assault allegations in Nevada in 2008 and again in Georgia in 2010. He was suspended for the start of the 2010 NFL season, but came back to lead the Pittsburgh Steelers to the Super Bowl.

This offseason, Roethlisberger vowed to turn his life around and married girlfriend Ashley Harlan.

“It was like when Samson had all of his beautiful hair chopped off,” recalls teammate Troy Polamalu. “As soon as Ben lost his desire to rape, he became less aggressive on the field.”

A look at Big Ben’s numbers validate Polamalu’s claims. Through four games in 2011, he’s thrown just three touchdowns and five interceptions, has a pedestrian 80.2 passer rating and has led his talented team to a 2-2 record.

“Coming into the season he was one of the most efficient passers in NFL history,” said Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin. “For the good of our team, someone needs to hand him some roofies and lock him in a sorority ASAP.”

Khloe Kardashian co-hosted the fourth hour of the Today Show Monday and opened up about her fertility struggles, her obsession with food and her unexpected celebrity.

“I honestly still have no idea why I’m famous,” said the suspected tranny. “Four years ago I was a dishwasher at Denny’s.”

Kardashian got her big break in October 2007, when E! was forced to include her in a reality show about her incoherent sister with the huge ass.  Since then, Khloe has become something of a media mogul.

According to her Wikipedia page, Khloe is an actress, model (OMGG.com interns are still fact-checking this) and even has her own fragrance.  But her greatest career move came in 2009, when she married NBA star Lamar Odom’s $36 million contract.

“One thing showbusiness has taught me is that it’s better to be lucky than talented,” said the plus-size reality star.

In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Johnny Depp compared being photographed to getting raped. Facing criticism from fans, the actor tearfully clarified his statement to OMGG.com.

“In the late 70s I was sexually assaulted by a Kodak Instamatic,” weeped Depp, who offered no further explanation. “It was nearly as painful as that incident at Cannes.”

Depp is of course alluding to the time he spent in a Southern France hospital after sitting on a Canon ELPH while sunbathing nude at Plage de la Batterie.

“I spent nearly four hours having that bugger removed from my rectum,” the Pirates of the Caribbean star said at the time. “It’s the reason I cringe every time I see paparazzi coming towards me.”

Word from the future is that Demi Moore ended up staying with Ashton Kutcher, despite the actor’s habitual infidelity.

Pablo Hicks, OMGG.com’s time-traveling intern, snapped this red carpet photo from the premiere of Kutcher’s film, Reign Storm, due in theaters on November 14, 2033.