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June 4, 2012

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Michael Jackson’s Ghost Accused of Touching Boy

A family recently purchased the home where Michael Jackson died, and they’re already experiencing buyer’s remorse.

“The house is haunted,” explained businessman Nelson Feliciano. “Mr. Jackson’s ghost visits my son’s room every night and forces him to drink red wine.”

OMGG.com caught up with the King of Pop’s spirit, who told us it’s all just a big misunderstanding.

“I don’t understand why Tommy’s parents have a problem with he and I sharing a bed,” MJ’s ghost said. “Don’t they realize that we’re best friends?”

June 1, 2012

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Will Obama Appoint Snoop Dogg FDA Commissioner?

Will Obama Appoint Snoop Dogg FDA Commissioner?

An excerpt from Barack Obama’s forthcoming biography found its way online, and new details of the president smoking pot in high school have emerged.

“I once made bong out of a pencil sharpener,” admitted Obama. “And unlike that pretty boy Bill Clinton, I did inhale.”

With Barack Obama: The Story hitting bookstores in June, the president is hoping his past dalliances with marijuana will help attract young voters.

“If re-elected, I’ve got a surprise for the GOP,” the 50-year old told OMGG.com. “I plan on rolling a fat joint with my birth certificate at next year’s State of the Union address.”

May 31, 2012

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Justin Bieber Wanted by Police After Fight With Paparazzi

Justin Bieber Wanted by Police After Fight With Paparazzi

Justin Bieber is used to being a wanted man. But it’s the police, not teenage girls, who are chasing after the pop star these days.

After a cameraman attempted to take Justin’s picture on Sunday, a bloody fight reportedly broke out between the 18-year old and the paparazzo.

The singer and his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, fled the scene after pummeling 6’5″ Terrance Wilkins within an inch of his life.

“I normally don’t ask the public to take the law into their own hands,” LAPD officer Rhett Smith told OMGG.com. “But after hearing Justin’s latest album, I encourage anyone who spots him to shoot on site.”

May 31, 2012

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Snooki Moves Out; ‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Envious of Special Treatment

Snooki Moves Out; 'Jersey Shore' Cast Envious of Special Treatment

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is movin’ on up.

Due to her pregnancy, MTV staff didn’t feel the Jersey Shore house was a safe environment for the 24-year old star.

For the reality show’s upcoming season, Snooki will live in a posh pad miles away from her rowdy castmates, with an around-the-clock butler to be sure she gets the attention she needs.

“I hear she even gets complimentary spa treatments,” said JWOWW. “Had I known that gettin’ knocked up would mean loads of free sh#t, I’d have stopped using birth control ages ago.”

May 30, 2012

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Bill and Hillary Clinton Reveal They’re Swingers

Is it just us, or have the Clintons become a lot cooler since leaving the White House?

Nearly a month after the Texts from Hillary meme became so popular it gave the former First Lady “street cred,” Bill has outdone his wife.

The 42nd President of the United States was seen partying with a couple of porn stars at a Monte Carlo casino recently, and one of the photos from that evening has leaked to the press.

In light of her husband’s checkered past, many assumed Hillary would be upset. Not so, she says.

“Once Chelsea moved out, we started attending international swinger parties together,” the Secretary of State told OMGG.com. “Not many people know this, but in that Monaco picture — Al Gore was the one holding the camera.”