OMGG

Paris Hilton’s first night spinning records went so well that many are already calling her one of the greatest DJs of all time.

“The jig is up, anyone can do it,” a depressed Deadmau5 admitted. “I just called Olive Garden to see if I can get my old waitering job back.”

Paris told OMGG.com it was actually a misunderstanding that led to her new career.

“I was at a party a few weeks ago, and no one was manning the turntables,” the socialite said. “I thought I heard someone say they needed a BJ, so I volunteered…and the rest is history.”

Casper Smart’s former dance partner recently claimed that Jennifer Lopez’s boy-toy is actually a closeted homosexual.

“What’s he basing that on, the fact that I’m a male dancer?” the aspiring actor asked OMGG.com. “Cary Grant used to dance. John Travolta dances. You don’t hear people questioning their sexuality.”

Smart insists he would never date someone he wasn’t attracted to.

“I assured J.Lo that she has nothing to worry about,” the 25-year old told us. “As long as she keeps paying my bills, I’ll never even look at another man.”

Hoping to put a stop to their two-game losing streak, the New York Mets took part in a sadistic ritual last night.

“We cooked and ate our team mascot, Little Jerry Seinfeld,” pitcher R.A. Dickey said. “He tasted a little funny, so I guess he lived up to his name.”

Moments after the cross-town rival Yankees beat them to take the Subway Series, manager Terry Collins suggested the Mets eat the chicken for the sake of strength and team unity.

“We’re a very superstitious team, and we’re committed to winning,” relief pitcher Tim Byrdak told OMGG.com. “If we sweep the Cubs this week, I can guarantee you we’re eating Mr. Met next.”