Last night, McDonald’s executives revealed that just days after achieving their initiative to hire 50,000 new employees, the company will be handing out pink slips to twice that number this week.
Robert Zazzali, who was hired July 28th, was disappointed to learn tomorrow will be his last day working the fry station. “My girlfriend was finally getting off my case about being unemployed,” said the recent Georgetown grad.
“I don’t understand why people are so surprised by the layoffs,” said Ben Puddle, the fast food chain’s McCEO. “The economy is in terrible shape.”
While many call the cuts unfair, the Golden Arches is receiving high praise from a surprising source — the White House.
“I’d like to express my gratitude to McDonald’s for stimulating the economy for almost a week,” said an exuberant President Barack Obama. “I hope Americans remember the boost in jobs I temporarily created when they enter the voting booth next November.”
August 2, 2011
ENTERTAINMENT