OMGG

There’s no question that the Lakers have been underperforming all year. If the playoffs started today, Los Angeles would be the fifth seed in the Western Conference, far worse than expectations going into the season.

Feeling they needed to do something drastic for a title shot, general manager Mitch Kupchak began trading his players one-by-one yesterday, including shipping superstar Kobe Bryant to Japan in exchange for Tokyo Tigers journeyman Kaito Takahashi.

“With the success of Jeremy Lin, management thought an all-Asian squad might help get us going,” said head coach Mike Brown. “Am I the only one who finds this whole thing a bit racist?”

The Lakers debuted their new-look team last night with little success, falling 128-11 to the lowly Charlotte Bobcats.

“We definitely need a little time to mesh,” point guard Jackie Chan admitted. “The good news is, I read online today that I already have the top-selling jersey in the NBA!”

Peyton Manning announced today that he will remain with the Indianapolis Colts, returning as the personal assistant to Andrew Luck, the team’s quarterback of the future.

After Colts owner Jim Irsay made it clear his team would select Luck with the #1 overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, Manning worried it would mean he was out of a job.

“I couldn’t sleep, wondering how I’d be able to provide for my family,” the future Hall of Famer told ESPN. “But Andrew was gracious enough to offer me a job, and I’ll forever be indebted to him for his generosity.”

OMGG.com attempted to reach Manning for comment, but he was out walking Curtis, Luck’s Golden Retriever puppy.

According to Yahoo!, Alex Rodriguez has officially asked Jeremy Lin to move in with him.

“I’m not surprised,” New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter told OMGG.com. “Since arriving at spring training yesterday, A-Rod has been going on and on about how cute Jeremy is.”

Apparently the two sports stars met at G Lounge, a popular Manhattan nightclub in the Chelsea district.

“I was just there dancing with teammates after our loss to the New Jersey Nets, when he approached me,” Lin told us. “I was so flattered by the attention, I know he usually prefers blondes.”

Last night, Jeremy Lin struggled through arguably the worst game of his career, shooting just 1-11 from the field in a 14-point loss to the Miami Heat.

“When I play well, I happily give all the glory to God,” the Knicks star said in his post-game interview. “That being said, The Almighty needs to shoulder the blame for letting the team down tonight.”

Boyd McDonnell, an evangelical pastor and noted Christian theologian, says he’s sure The Lord is sorry.

“Every now and again, even God makes mistakes,” McDonnell told OMGG.com. “How else could one explain Tim Tebow not winning the Super Bowl or the success of the Kardashian sisters?”

OMGG.com finally found something Allen Iverson dislikes even more than practice — wealth management.

Against the advice of his financial planner, the 36-year old famously supported a posse of nearly 50 friends for over a decade, and now can’t afford to pay an $860,000 bill from his jeweler.

The former Philadelphia 76ers guard has blown through an estimated $154 million fortune, but claims he never felt like his friends took advantage of him.

“Those same guys are now helping put food on my table,” claims the 2001 NBA MVP. “In fact, just last week I traded my Olympic bronze medal to my boy Lou for an Olive Garden gift card.”