OMGG

July of 2008 was a very important month in world history.  NASA announced the discovery of water on Mars and leaders of the G8 Summit agreed to cut world greenhouse gas emissions by 50%. But far and away, the most significant event occurred on the 12th of the month, when Angelina Jolie gave birth to Brad Pitt’s twin babies.

People Magazine paid a record $14 million for the exclusive first photos. The offspring of arguably the two best-looking people on the planet had finally arrived!

“We considered making it a national holiday,” revealed then-President George W. Bush.

But when pictures of Vivienne and Knox were finally made public, no one was blown away.

“What the hell?” commented Pitt super-fan Donna Gelton at the time. “They look just like regular kids.”

Nearly three years later, not much has changed.  TV Fashion consultant Tim Gunn recently told Entertainment Tonight, “Knox has weak cheekbones and Vivienne dresses like someone twice her age.”

Brad Pitt is said to be taking the reality of his twins’ so-so looks the hardest.

His assistant told OMGG.com, “Brad has resorted to ‘uglying himself up’ to make Viv and Knox appear more attractive.  But nothing seems to be working, not even that shaggy grey goatee he tried for a while.”

Sixteen-year-old Frankie Aversa from Moorestown, NJ is suffering from “Bieber Fever,” a rare genetic disorder that has triggered excessive teasing at school and left him with little-to-no self-esteem.

Doctors at Newark University Hospital are working to rid the teenage boy of this disease that has been termed “super gay” by medical science.

Dr. Felix Humple, one of the doctors attending him, said, “In medical communities, ‘Bieber Fever’ is better known as ‘Adoring Imprudent Douchebag Sickness’ or ‘AIDS’. It stems from an obsession with pop singer Justin Bieber, and has led to many playground beatings. We have already started his treatment and we’re optimistic that he’ll be perfectly fine.”

Charlie Sheen has already been replaced on Two and a Half Men, and now producers are in talks to get rid of his painfully unfunny sidekick.

Most would agree that Jon Cryer adds little to the show, but few realize he takes home $550,000 per episode — just over half a million dollars too much, according to studio execs.

Show creator Chuck Lorre told OMGG, “As much as I couldn’t stand Charlie, at least I didn’t want to vomit whenever he delivered a punchline.”

Lorre added, “Aside from Ashton Kutcher, the only cast member who job safe at this point is that little fat kid’s.”

Could CNN reporter Anderson Cooper really get any more super?

Reports are circulating that the silver-haired host of AC360 was exposed to excessive radiation while doing his show live from a Japanese nuclear plant back in March.  Fukushima Daiichi, the site of two recent explosions, was emitting radiating levels at over 300x normal at the time, and Cooper is starting to feel the effects.

“He’s getting special powers, kind of like what happened to Spider Man,” explained Dr. Yaguchi Garcazi.  “Only instead of being able to shoot webs, he has the ability to pretend he’s attracted to women.”

Despite reports that she was having breast-reduction surgery, Jessica Simpson denied it…until now. OMGG.com photographers snapped this exclusive pic of the actress on her way to her consultation with Dr. Joshua Holmes yesterday.