OMGG

On Monday, Jessica Simpson tweeted a picture of herself from the bathroom inside department store Bergdorf Goodman.

The designer wrote “short girl problems” beneath a TwitPic of her feet dangling from the toilet.

But OMGG.com webcams inside the stall reveal that the singer’s lack of height wasn’t the problem, it was her lack of balance.

“It’s really a mystery how she slipped in,” said sister Ashlee, who helped pry her from the commode. “I mean, have you seen her ass lately?”

According to Tara Reid’s Twitter page, the actress was mobbed by fans this morning while having breakfast at Stouts Diner in Los Angeles.

“Fans are going crazy over me.  I’ve signed like 200 autographs,” she tweeted at 11:16am.

But Casey Bernstein, a waitress at Stout’s, has a different recollection of this morning’s events.

“She’d consumed a lot of Jack Daniels, more than I’d ever seen someone her size drink,” said the server.  “She kept on insisting she was a big Hollywood star, so we let her sign a napkin and hung it by the register.”

It’s been a bit drafty in Hollywood this week, and not just because the weather’s changing. The pants-less train is rolling through Hollywood, and several celebs have already hopped on board.

“For me, it has nothing to do with being overtly sexual,” explained Christina Aguilera, who’s been spotted twice in the past week wearing nothing but a shirt. “I’ve just put on so much weight that I sweat profusely if I wear too much.”

Stars Jessica Simpson and Khloe Kardashian told OMGG.com that they go bottom-less for the same reason.

“Remember how the press vilified me for not wearing panties a few years ago?” Britney Spears reminded InStyle this week. “It looks like I was just ahead of my time.”

Former President George W. Bush threw out the ceremonial first pitch in the World Series last night, and reports say he was saddened to learn that he wouldn’t be the starting pitcher.

“My arm felt great, I could’ve gone at least six innings,” said the former president.

Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington was sent out of the dugout to explain to Bush that he wasn’t actually playing in the game.

“He wasn’t happy after I broke the news,” Washington told OMGG.com. “He called me a terrible ‘decider’ and demanded I trade him to another team.”

Haley Joel Osment is back in the news after being spotted at the premiere of a play in Philadelphia last week.

The Sixth Sense actor told his fans that although his boyish good looks are gone, he is excited to announce he’s currently working on a project with actress Lindsay Lohan.

“It’s only for a week, but it feels nice to be back in showbusiness,” Osment beamed. “She’s doing some court-ordered community service at the morgue where I work.”