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April 18, 2012

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Why Did Christina Aguilera Diss Bieber’s Kiss?

It’s pretty apparent that Christina Aguilera hasn’t caught Bieber Fever.

The Voice judge recently backed away when the young stud attempted to plant a kiss on her cheek, causing a slew of pre-teens to question her mental health.

The buxom blonde explained it was all a big misunderstanding, she mistook the Boyfriend singer for a 12-year old girl.

“Christina needs to be institutionalized,” longtime “Belieber” Robin Belle told OMGG.com. “I’d let Justin mount me in the middle of my social studies class if he wanted.”

April 18, 2012

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Tupac Hologram Shot by Biggie Smalls’ Hologram

Tupac Hologram Shot by Biggie Smalls’ Hologram

The Notorious B.I.G.’s hologram, jealous of all the attention Tupac Shakur’s hologram has been getting since performing at Coachella, allegedly shot his rival in the streets of Las Vegas last night.

Not so fast, say Hologram Biggie’s friends.

“It’s too early to jump to conclusions, this reeks of conspiracy,” a somber P. Diddy told OMGG.com. “I think it’s important to investigate where Suge Knight’s hologram was yesterday evening.”

The rap community’s troubling East/West Coast rivalry dates back to the early 90s, but the feud seemed to have subsided — until now.

We caught up with Hologram Tupac’s creator, who was devastated by the tragic news of his death.

“He was so young, I can’t believe he’s gone,” said Digital Domain animator Thomas Hess, fighting back tears. “Thanks to this senseless murder, I’m going to have to work late tonight making another one.”

April 18, 2012

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Magic Johnson Purchases Hollywood Sign

Magic Johnson is buying up Los Angeles, one landmark at a time.

The NBA Hall of Famer already owns gyms, movie theaters, coffee shops and oh yeahthe Dodgers, but says he won’t be happy until every square foot of Southern California belongs to him.

Even the economic downturn hasn’t stopped the 6’9″ entrepreneur’s shopping spree.

“He recently made a very generous offer for the Getty Museum and the Griffith Observatory,” announced Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. “Thanks to Magic, California should finally have a balanced budget by June.”

April 17, 2012

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Amid Scandal, Pippa Middleton Joins NRA

Pippa proudly packs a pistol permit.

OMGG.com has learned that the 28-year old socialite joined the National Rifle Association today, sparking outrage across Great Britain.

Middleton claims she’s just protecting herself from the hordes of paparazzi that follow her everywhere she goes.

“Whenever someone points a camera at me, I’m going to point something back,” said the Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sister. “I may even move to Florida, where it’s apparently ok to shoot first and ask questions later.”

April 17, 2012

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Ridiculously Photogenic Guy Narrowly Escapes Shark Attack

Ridiculously Photogenic Guy Narrowly Escapes Shark Attack

Zeddie Little is incapable of taking a bad picture.

The man dubbed “Ridiculously Photogenic Guy” has become an Internet sensation after his photo was posted to a social news website, where users found him to be exceptionally attractive.

But that handsomeness was challenged over the weekend, when Little was nearly attacked by Jaws.

“The dude just casually swam away with a smile on his face,” an eyewitness told OMGG.com. “I’ve never seen anything sexier in my life.”