OMGG

NBA commissioner David Stern canceled the first two weeks of the 2011-12 regular season last night, and no one was more relieved than the Detroit Pistons and their fans.

“We’re keeping our fingers crossed that he axes the remaining games soon,” Pistons guard Rip Hamilton told OMGG.com. “Motown needs this.”

Once the capital of the U.S. auto industry, Detroit has been crippled by factory shutdowns, falling home prices, the exodus of tens of thousands of residents and an unemployment rate near 20%.

With the Tigers in the MLB playoffs and the Lions off to their hottest start since 1956, sports teams are finally giving Motor City residents a reason to smile.

“Please commissioner, do the right thing and cancel 2011-12,” season ticket holder Dennis Meyer wrote in his blog. “The people of Detroit are counting on you!”

The year was 1999, and a young thespian by the name of James Van Der Beek was on top of the world. He had the title role in the popular tv series Dawson’s Creek, his teen football comedy Varsity Blues was the #1 movie in America and he was selected one of People magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful People in the World.”

So what happened to “The Beek”?

“My fall from grace was blindingly fast,” Van Der Beek told OMGG.com. “It began in 2003 when Dawson’s Creek ended and I became addicted to aspirin.”

From there, his career spiraled. In 2006, he starred in the direct-to-DVD thriller The Plague. The following year, he had a small part in the off-Broadway play Rain Dance. By 2009, he was completely out of showbusiness, working as a receptionist at a Ford dealership.

“My fans have deserted me, but I’m mounting a comeback,” said the former star. “I recently started teaching improv in Cottonwood Falls, Kansas and I haven’t touched a Tylenol in nearly five years.”

When one of Rick Perry’s biggest supporters called Mormonism a cult last week, many questioned the Texas Governor’s tolerance of other religions.

“Those remarks in no way reflect my personal beliefs,” Perry told OMGG.com this afternoon. “In fact, I decided to marry a second woman over the weekend to prove how accepting I am of them Mormonites.”

Mitt Romney, a practicing Mormon and Perry’s strongest opponent in the GOP race, was quick to respond.

“From here on out, we’re focusing our campaign on Scientologists,” said Walter Tringhese, Romney’s chief strategist. “The way I see it, intergalactic overlord Xenu presides over several planets, and we only need one to seal up the nomination.”