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Chicago Bulls Give Joakim Noah’s ACL to Derrick Rose

May 1, 2012

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When Derrick Rose tore his ACL, many assumed the Chicago Bulls’ playoff run was over.

Not so fast.

Last night, team owner Jerry Reinsdorf had ligaments removed from underachieving center Joakim Noah’s left knee and implanted into Rose’s.

Noah isn’t happy that his season is done, but understands why the transplant was necessary.

“Derrick Rose is our MVP, we’re screwed without him healthy,” said the floppy-haired 27-year old. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to win a championship.”

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Mitt Romney Claims He Knew Where Bin Laden Was All Along

May 1, 2012

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While talking about Osama bin Laden in 2007, Mitt Romney said that “it’s not worth moving heaven and earth…to catch one person.”

On the one-year anniversary of the raid that killed the terrorist leader, Romney claims he knew all along that bin Laden was hiding in that mansion in Abbotabad, Pakistan.

Romney told OMGG.com that President Obama is unfairly using the al-Qaeda leader’s death as “a cheap political ploy” to gain support for his re-election bid in November.

“I think it’s crazy that everyone is giving the president so much credit for finding bin Laden,” Romney said. “Had I known everyone hated the guy so much I would’ve captured him myself.”

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Jay-Z Purposely Designs Awful Brooklyn Nets Logo

May 1, 2012

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The NBA’s Nets are moving out of the doldrums of Newark, New Jersey and into a new, billion-dollar stadium in Brooklyn, New York.

With the change of cities comes a new logo, and team minority owner Jay-Z graciously stepped in to design it.

While critics have panned the artwork, calling it “the worst in the league,” Jay-Z told OMGG.com that something drab is exactly what he was going for.

“It’s black and white, boring and hard to look at,” said the rapper/entrepreneur. “I think it really embodies everything our team is about.”

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Kim Kardashian Promises Free Plastic Surgery for All as Mayor

April 30, 2012

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Kim Kardashian Promises Free Plastic Surgery for All as Mayor

Kim Kardashian announced recently that she plans to run for mayor of her hometown of Glendale, California in 2017.

The 31-year old socialite says she’d help make her city a great place to live by outlawing obesity and offering free plastic surgery for all residents.

Kim told OMGG.com that her boyfriend supports her decision to run, and is actually interested in politics, as well.

“Kanye told me that one day he wants to be leader of the free world,” revealed Kardashian. “I’m glad he’s a dreamer, but I highly doubt America would ever vote for a black president.”

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Milli Announces Comeback Tour With Hologram Vanilli

April 30, 2012

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In the early 1990s, Milli Vanilli was one of the world’s most popular musical acts. The powerhouse duo even won a Grammy Award for Best New Artist, which was later stripped for some ridiculous reason*.

Sadly, ten years after the group’s debut, one of its members passed away. It appeared as if the legendary musicians would never have an opportunity to delight fans with their live act again.

That all changed when Fab Morvan (aka Milli) saw the Tupac Hologram perform at the Coachella Music Festival a couple weeks ago.

“I knew that if I could somehow build a Vanilli Hologram, I could teach it to lip-sync our lyrics in no time,” Morvan told OMGG.com.

Unfortunately, the cost to create a realistic image was over $200,000, and nobody seemed willing to fund the project…until today.

“I finally found experienced, financial backers who loved the idea!” an excited Milli tweeted this morning. “They’re the investment firm behind Disney’s John Carter.”

*The recorded voices weren’t theirs

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