OMGG

Happy Independence Gay Day from your friends at OMGG.com!

According to Rush Limbaugh, there is no such thing as Global Warming.

“Those hippie Democrats want you to believe the burning of fossil fuels has something to do with this heat,” said the bloated radio talk show host. “Any thinking man will tell you the earth is getting hot because Obama is in charge.”

Despite record temperatures across the US, the sweaty political commentator insists that only a fool would believe science is a factor.

“God is going to keep cranking up the heat unless we get a Republican in office,” Limbaugh told OMGG.com. “By the way, did anyone else notice that it’s gotten even hotter since Anderson Cooper announced he was gay?”

Now that Anderson Cooper has come out of the closet, one man is reminding the ladies that there’s still a “silver fox” on CNN.

“Anderson being gay is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me,” Wolf Blitzer told OMGG.com. “It’s meant non-stop poontang around the office!”

Cooper said he’s happy his announcement helped out his fellow journalist.

“CNN is renowned for hiring attractive female interns, and they used to flirt with me quite a bit,” the 45-year old explained. “This morning, I noticed that they’ve all turned their attention to the Wolfman.”

According to Scientology’s creator, 75 million years ago the head of the Galactic Federation was an extraterrestrial named Xenu. He brought “beings” to this planet whose spirits infest bodies here on earth.

OMGG.com has learned that Katie Holmes is now on Xenu’s sh#tlist.

Ever since the actress filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, an Operating Thetan Level VI*, L. Ron Hubbard’s alien posse has been following Holmes and her daughter Suri through the streets of New York.

“I can’t believe Tom would let these space creatures terrify our family,” Holmes told us. “I haven’t been this repulsed by something he’s done since Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol.”

*Or in layman’s terms, “Douchebag”

Alec Baldwin’s nuptials turned ugly over the weekend when the actor mistook his wedding photographer for the paparazzi.

The 54-year old has had several run-ins with photojournalists in the past, and quickly apologized for losing his temper after spotting the flashing bulbs.

Tina Fey, who was on hand to support her 30 Rock co-star, told OMGG.com that Alec wasn’t the only Baldwin brother to assume the paps had infiltrated the wedding.

“Billy spent the entire reception posing, trying to get noticed,” said Fey. “I overheard him bragging to his date that he was going to be on TMZ.”