OMGG

Not long after being named the face of ‘Madden NFL 12’, Cleveland Browns running back Peyton Hillis reports he woke up with several pimples on his nose and left cheek.

“I never had a zit in my life before being on the cover of that stupid game,” claimed the football stud. “Now I wear my helmet to the supermarket just to cover my hideous face.”

In the past, the “Madden Curse” has been blamed for everything from Donovan McNabb’s crippling sports hernia to the retirement of Barry Sanders, but never anything this gruesome.

Daunte Culpepper, who suffered a career-ending knee injury after appearing on the Madden cover years ago, said Hillis should look on the bright side. “At least he can get some endorsement money from doing one of those Proactiv commercials.”

Fat Joe has a bone to pick, and for once it didn’t come from a chicken wing.

The 300-pound rapper told OMGG he’s tired of all the fat jokes, claiming he just has “a bad metabolism.”

Fat Joe (real name: Fat Joseph) insists his pudginess is the product of bad genes, not his renowned milkshake fetish. “I’ve tried everything to lose the excess mass, including yoga, jogging and going to the gym once,” he claims.

Rival rapper 50 Cent isn’t buying the excuses. “Fat Joe’s last album sold 11,000 copies, which ironically is the same number of calories that bitch consumes daily.”

Christina Aguilera’s ex-husband is said to be baffled by how little attention women have paid to him since his high-profile divorce.  

It’s been nearly 10 months since Jordan Bratman split from Aguilera, and the 34-year old claims women won’t give him the time of day. The homely music producer was spotted partying at LA hotspot Le Deux last night, where he was served another dose of reality.

“I was called ‘creepy’ for trying to buy a girl a drink,” Bratman told us. “I used to be married to one of the most talented and beautiful women in the world, how come I can’t even get a phone number now?”

Celebrity stylist Kathleen Bily has a theory as to how Jordan landed Christina in the first place. “He has a beard, so maybe she couldn’t tell how ugly his actual face was.  Plus, I think he’s really rich.”

Just three days after his ex-wife Oksana Grigorieva told a judge that Mel Gibson’s temper traumatized her son, the actor’s short fuse is getting him in trouble again.

OMGG reports that after dining with his attorney at a beach café last night, the Braveheart director’s walk back to his Malibu home took an unexpected turn…when he stepped in a big pile of doggie doo.

Upon learning that the poop likely belonged to Puddles, a four-year old Chihuahua owned by his neighbor, Gibson stormed over to the nearby home and began ranting until police were called to the scene.  Puddles’ owner said that while most of the yelling was unintelligible, his puppy seemed scared and remorseful.

When reached for comment, Mr. Gibson accused Puddles of trying to sabotage his career by being “a stupid little Jew dog.”

A goodwill game between Georgetown University and China’s Bayi Rockets turned violent yesterday, moments after Carl Douglas’ hit song Kung Fu Fighting was accidentally played over the PA system.

“When the music started, everyone just froze in their tracks and started punching each other,” explained American spectator Alex Lamperti. “It was f*cking awesome!”

Highlights of the fracas have spread across YouTube, and in less than 24 hours the melee had been viewed by over 19 million people, making it the most-watched NCAA basketball game in history.

“Our athletic director just called me to say he’s thrilled with the ratings,” remarked Georgetown coach John Thompson III. “He’s currently working out a deal for us to fight the Russians on pay-per-view.”