Mets Eat Team Mascot After Losing to the Yankees

Hoping to put a stop to their two-game losing streak, the New York Mets took part in a sadistic ritual last night.

“We cooked and ate our team mascot, Little Jerry Seinfeld,” pitcher R.A. Dickey said. “He tasted a little funny, so I guess he lived up to his name.”

Moments after the cross-town rival Yankees beat them to take the Subway Series, manager Terry Collins suggested the Mets eat the chicken for the sake of strength and team unity.

“We’re a very superstitious team, and we’re committed to winning,” relief pitcher Tim Byrdak told OMGG.com. “If we sweep the Cubs this week, I can guarantee you we’re eating Mr. Met next.”