Is Newt Gingrich Too Fat for Air Force One?

Now that Newt Gingrich is atop the GOP field in the latest CNN poll, members of the White House Planning Committee are beginning to panic.

“A Newt Gingrich presidency will cost taxpayers millions of dollars,” said Megan Oiler, head of the Political Transition Coordinating Council. “A mistress clothing allowance, a substantial Twinkie budget and seatbelt extenders on Air Force One are just a few of the additional expenses.”

While Newt’s reps acknowledge the potentially hefty tab, they insist it could be worse.

“White House doorways were already widened in 1933 to accomodate Franklin D. Roosevelt’s wheelchair,” said Gingrich spokesman Andy Hecker. “So at least no major construction would be necessary there.”