America’s New Birth Control Plan: Distribute Photos of Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh, a longtime opponent of government-funded birth control, has finally put his money where his mouth is and helped unveil America’s first abstinence plan that may actually work.

“Rush and I have decided to put partisan politics aside to help save U.S. taxpayers some money,” President Obama proudly announced this afternoon. “On Friday, we will begin to roll out the ‘Limp as Limbaugh’ campaign.”

At high schools and colleges across the country, headshots of the radio host will be distributed to young men and women in an attempt to keep their hormones in check.

Limbaugh, who came under fire for calling birth control advocate Sandra Fluke a “slut” last week, says the program will not only save millions of dollars on subsidized contraceptives, but undoubtedly lead to a decrease in premarital sex and teenage pregnancy.

“This plan already has a proven track record,” the outspoken conservative explained to OMGG.com. “Women tell me all the time that the mere sight of my face has extinguished all of their sexual desires.”