Big Bird to Become Prostitute?

After Mitt Romney announced that he’d stop the subsidy to PBS if elected, Big Bird faced the cold reality that she might need to come up with a new way to make a living.

“In this economy, there are very few options,” said the 8-foot tall Sesame Street legend. “I’ll probably have to go back to hooking, eventually.”

The yellow, single mother told OMGG.com she’d rather whore herself than allow her children to move back in with her ex-husband, Oscar.

“He’s a terrible role model for our kids,” said Big Bird. “That grouchy deadbeat just sits around in a trash can all day.”