Will NASA’s Carelessness Lead to Your Demise?

A satellite that once confirmed the existence of a hole in the ozone layer will make a fiery descent back to earth today, and NASA’s website says there’s a good chance it will destroy you.

For the first time since Skylab crash-landed in Australia back in 1979, NASA has put the odds of someone being struck by a falling piece of the spacecraft at greater than 1:3200.

“This could’ve been avoided if NASA would just get their sh*t together,” said an angry President Obama. “This is their second monumental miscalculation in the last few months.”

The other incident took place in June, when the space shuttle Atlantis returned to earth for the final time, accidentally leaving mission specialist Rex Walheim on the moon.