OMGG

Menlo Park, California is about to be chock-full of really rich dorks.

Now that Facebook has filed for an initial public offering, the small town that houses the social networking service is bracing itself for an influx of wealthy weirdos.

With Facebook expected to be valued at $100 billion, software developer Ike Stranathan, who owns just under .003% of the company, stands to make almost $30 million.

“I plan on spending the bulk of my earnings on a gold-plated Segway and some rare Star Wars memorabilia,” admitted the computer geek. “But if I have money left over, I’m finally going to see what it’s like to touch a real, live woman.”

The Spice Girls are hoping to reunite in London this summer for one last blockbuster performance at the 2012 Olympic Games.

Unfortunately, one of the crew’s founders feels the concert is beneath her.

“I’m way too busy looking miserable and being married to David Beckham to go to London,” Victoria Beckham told OMGG.com.

The other four members — Scary, Baby, Sporty and Sneezy — are hoping Posh eventually changes her mind.

“We need her in order to be taken seriously as a group,” explained Geri Halliwell. “It’s not that she has any discernable talent, she’s just the only one of us who’s still thin.”

Despite getting beaten handily in the Florida primary by rival GOP candidate Mitt Romney, a bitter Newt Gingrich is demanding a recount.

“There’s no way all those old broads didn’t vote for me,” said the delusional politician. “There must’ve been a hanging chad or something.”

Polls show that Florida women voted decidedly against the former Speaker of the House, and OMGG.com investigators discovered it wasn’t his repeated infidelity that made him so unpopular in the Sunshine State.

“I could care less how many wives he’s cheated on,” explained 82-year old Florida resident Sheila Goldstein. “He just ain’t sexy like that Romney fella.”

This morning, Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil was removed from his lair at 7:20am and “predicted” six more weeks of winter.

After vomiting for upwards of two minutes, the oversized rodent scurried back into his tree stump for a nap.

At noon, Phil re-emerged holding a bottle of Advil and a scroll, which he gave to his tuxedo-clad handler, Benjamin Downs.

“Hear ye, hear ye. Phil has an announcement to make,” said Mr. Downs, who then read the note aloud to those still in attendance. “The next time someone wakes me up so early, I’m going to claw the sh#t out of their face.”

Claire Odioso, the young woman who drank donkey semen on a canceled episode of Fear Factor, now claims she’s addicted to mammal ejaculate.

Animal rights activists called the stunt “bestiality porn” and due to backlash from all the negative media attention, Claire’s segment never aired.

Odioso told OMGG.com that despite not getting her 15 minutes of fame, she’s grateful the show introduced her to a whole new world.

“Since the taping, I’ve enjoyed sperm from pretty much every animal out there,” the 22-year old admitted. “You’d never guess this, but turtle jizz tastes eerily similar to Sunny Delight.”