OMGG

After Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce last week, ex-hubby Marc Anthony claims he’s entitled to half of the singer’s ass-ets.

“As with most amicable divorces, the parties agree to split property down the middle. My client believes he’s the rightful owner of Miss Lopez’s left cheek,” explained Anthony’s attorney, Carl Allison.

As for custody of the couple’s infant twins?

“I haven’t really given that much thought,” Anthony told us.

Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant shocked reporters when he arrived at a charity event this afternoon wearing nothing but a pair of leather boy shorts.

ESPN reporter Mitch Fedders believes it’s a ploy by Kobe to win back the gay and lesbian fans he insulted when he used a homophobic slur during a game against the San Antonio Spurs last season.

The shooting guard, already ostracized for his prior mistakes (e.g., contract disputes and rape) seems to be going out of his way to prove he isn’t a homophobe.

“This morning he asked me if I thought Pau (Gasol) was cute,” said teammate Ron Artest.  “It’s becoming painfully obvious he’s willing to go to great lengths to prove to the world he’s gay-friendly.”

A recent Newsweek poll revealed what most of us had already suspected: Alec is, yet again, the most popular Baldwin brother.

“I was hoping this was my year,” said Billy via his website www.Vote4Billy.org. “Not sure if you heard, but I scored a part in that new Daryl Hannah movie.”

But it wasn’t meant to be. Alec currently has five films in production, will host SNL for the 16th time next season and is the perennial Emmy favorite for his brilliant portrayal of Jack Donaghy on the NBC hit ’30 Rock’.

“Yeah, but has he starred as Barney Rubble in ‘The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas’?” asked Stephen, the youngest and most Christian of the Baldwin clan.  “I act for the art, not the accolades.”

Rupert Murdoch is known for two things:

1)   Being a global media baron and CEO of News Corp.

2)   His raging sweet tooth.

While testifying before lawmakers about the News of the World phone-hacking scandal yesterday, Murdoch gave a head nod to his assistant Curt Wimberly, signifying that he was hungry for some pie.

When Mr. Wimberly rushed over with a Lemon Meringue, he was viciously attacked by Murdoch’s wife Wendi (see video).

OMdoubleG caught up with Mrs. Murdoch to figure out why she did what she did.

“Rupert already had dessert that day,” she explained.  “His man-boobs aren’t getting any bigger on my watch.”

Nadya Suleman (aka “Octomom”) announced today that she plans to sell one of her children on eBay to help pay mounting bills.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” said Norm Parks, Executive Director of Heartland Adoptions. “The kid will probably go to a loving home, and she makes a few bucks in the process. Everybody wins.”

Suleman, whose home has been facing foreclosure since January, said that her only other option would be to sell the family’s van, but “that just doesn’t make sense.”

When OMdoubleG staffers asked Suleman which child she plans to auction, she couldn’t think of the kid’s name. “It’s one of the boys, Henry or Harry or something,” she stated.