OMGG

Former American Idol finalist Adam Lambert and his reality star boyfriend, Sauli Koskinen, were incarcerated last night after an alleged barroom brawl. But the couple insists it was all just a ploy to get a free vacation.

“We’d talked about going on a romantic cruise, but neither of us could afford it,” explained Lambert. “So we opted for a night in a Finnish prison…and it was everything we’d dreamed it’d be.”

Koskinen, a contestant on Finland’s Big Brother, said he’ll never forget the time he and Adam shared in the communal showers. In fact, he said there were only two things he didn’t like about jail — the food, and witnessing a guard get stabbed to death with a toothbrush.

“It was just the spark their relationship needed,” Helsinki Central Prison inmate Janne Braaten told OMGG.com. “As visitors to this fine establishment, they were able to experience what we call the three Rs — rest, relaxation and rape.”

As Star magazine reported earlier this week, the Kardashians are in hot water for using child labor to create their K-Dash clothing line.

“I don’t think it’s such a big deal,” said the troll-like Khloe in an exclusive OMGG.com interview. “I mean, they’re missing school…but we’re uneducated, and look how successful we are!”

Some members of the Kardashian clan even think they’re owed a debt of gratitude for the labor law violations.

“We’re ensuring that Asia’s jobless rate stays low during a recession,” Kim said recently. “Sewing our sh#tty clothing is keeping a lot of 10-year old Chinese girls employed. You’re welcome, world.”

OMGG.com investigators have learned that North Korea’s Kim Jong-il was buried alive recently…at his request.

“I faked my own death because I wanted to see what people would say about me once I was gone,” Jong-il admitted. “I was tired of being a media laughingstock, my self-esteem took a huge hit.”

The evil dictator, who was portrayed as a lonely, alien cockroach in the movie Team America and as a deranged kidnapper on the tv hit 30 Rock, says “dying” didn’t help him get the respect he felt he deserved.

“There were wild celebrations around the world when Osama bin Laden died, yet I had to share the front page of CNN.com with Tim Tebow,” said Jong-il “In hindsight, I probably should’ve been more of a dick.”

The Kardashians recently mailed out their highly-anticipated 2011 Christmas card, featuring the entire family, sans Bruce Jenner’s kids.

“It’s nothing personal,” Jenner told OMGG.com. “They just aren’t good-looking or famous enough.”

Despite being part of the original family portrait shot in October, Kim’s husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries, was photoshopped out of the final product.

“It’s strictly a Kardashian card, so we try to keep it exclusive and sexy,” explained Kim. “If it were up to me, Khloe wouldn’t have made the cut, either.”

Comedian Jackie Mason says that President Obama’s actions during a Hanukkah celebration earlier this month were no laughing matter.

At this year’s annual White House party, the president had one-too-many glasses of Manischewitz and began “Tebowing” over the oval office menorah.

Tebowing, a neologism derived from weak-armed quarterback Tim Tebow’s propensity for kneeling and praying just about every time he completes a pass, is something reserved for Christians, says Mason.

“A Jewish holiday party is an inappropriate place to mimic Tim Tebow,” said the angry Jewish satirist. “It’d be like (Israeli President) Shimon Peres getting drunk and humping a Christmas tree.”