Fat Man Finishes Something Other Than Lunch

Kelly Gneiting, a 400-lb U.S. sumo champion, somehow completed the Los Angeles Marathon this weekend.

The fatty crossed the finish line in just under 10 hours and set the Guinness World Record for being the heaviest person to finish the 26.2-mile race.

At the post-race interview, Gneiting told reporters, “I feel great.  Now somebody get me some f#cking bacon.”