After Surgery Fails, Peyton Manning Tries Neck Rings

Desperate to play this season, Peyton Manning flew to Thailand last night to be fitted for a set of custom neck rings.

The spiral metal coils are typically worn by Asian and African women to strengthen and elongate the neck muscles, but after three failed surgeries, Manning was willing to try anything.

“After last night’s loss to the Steelers, we’re 0-3,” said Manning. “Watching Kerry Collins lead the Colts is sadder than one of those Sarah McLachlan dog rescue commercials.”

Manning, who has grown four inches since the rings have been added, now stands at 6’9″. He told OMGG.com that he’s been contacted by the GM of the Indiana Pacers, who’d like him to try out for the team should he decide a return to the NFL is too risky.